Second Saturn Blues (58 to 60 years of age)

Second Saturns are tough.

Anything unresolved from the first Saturn

Erupts with pyroclastic force.

Sometimes ironic, mostly infuriating,

Second Saturn's presence is a harsh taskmaster.

Whether fleeting or chronic,

Intense issues unsettled increase

Forcing flight or fight reactivity.

Unrelenting unpredictable internalized emotion

Humbles even the most rationally arrogant.

The cosmic mirror awakens

Thoughts of inching closer to old age.

Denial melts like butter

Dripping with realizations of time

Speeding toward an unknown finale.

Conflicted hard change becomes a best friend

Teaching lessons of bravery.

The biggest question to answer is,

Who and what do I want to take with me into old age?

Frequently the choice is also delegated by the universe.

Loss figures predominantly in a Second Saturn

As a reminder of the impermanence of reality.

Cozy comfortable living is a memory.

Whether it is death, separation, health, change, or defeat,

Say hello to the process of grief.

Is there a silver lining to a Second Saturn?

Are lessons learned like bridges burned?

Will Saturn's spiritual awakening scorch or heal?

The answers come with deep questioning

Of the soul's purposefulness and future intent.

Bearing up under Saturn's grip

Requires courage, fortitude, resilience, and compassion.

Either armor up or soften up but choose wisely.

Pay close heed of your words and deeds,

Otherwise Saturn's true healing is circumvented.

A comforting shoulder and gentle discourse

Will alleviate the acerbity of Saturn's blows.

Accepting help, seeking solace, being contrite,

And asking for forgiveness, expedites the transformation

Needed to learn Saturn's stringent lessons.

This blog is dedicated to those who passed their second Saturn, those with Saturn in Sagittarius, and the one who made me his first Second Saturn casualty.

Christmas Without Christ

I am a Buddhist. For more than forty years I have not been a Christian, despite being raised in an orthodox Catholic parochial school system. Not many can say they have received as much Christian religious education (in addition to mass six days a week) as me. Years of instruction initially made me devout with a child-like acceptance of Church doctrine. But as I grew older and saw what I felt were aspects of this religion I did not believe, nor could I accept. Throughout my younger adult years my search to find a spiritual home led me to other more figurative Christian religions like Unity and the Church of Religious Science. Christ light, as I called them, was certainly more palatable but still I had difficulty accepting Jesus Christ as my personal savior. Then I began to read about Buddhism.

Through Buddhism I discovered a philosophy and way of being I could embrace. Though I do not consider myself to be a skilled practitioner, I do observe the teachings. The most difficult part of acknowledging and sharing my love of Buddhism is the reaction I get from people of other religions.

Today on Christmas day, this point is driven home all the more. My Christian friends are not at all happy with my Buddhist beliefs and constantly try to convince me to come back to Christ. I find their pleas incredibly disrespectful. Finally, after being badgered by one of my reborn Christian girlfriends about converting, I reminded her there is a constitutional right to freedom of religion. But to my Christian friends, it is about Christianity being the only religion and way into heaven.

The Catholic training I endured in my childhood also taught this. But the flaw I saw in this conflicted with the idea of loving your fellow humans only if you can convert them to Christianity. Of course, you show them charity, but they are nothing more than heathens. Sadly, this attitude perseveres.

This year I dated a pastor and a man who was a devout Christian. Both of them said I could never be happy unless I allowed Christ into my life. At one point, the pastor told me my natural intuition was really the devil whispering in my ear. I found this ironic. Isn't intolerance of any sort the antithesis of being a loving, spiritual being? I do not expect any of my Christian friends to understand or convert to Buddhism, yet they expect me to. When I am with my Christian friends I do not talk about Buddha unless asked. However, my friends feel no compunction about rambling incessantly about Christ wanting me to come back into the fold. What is wrong with this picture?

Religion has been used for centuries as a reason to treat women and children as property, start religious wars, and justify genocide. What I see very little of is the human aspect of religions supporting the higher spiritual values which support our humanity.







 

I Am Always There

I am your ace in the hole
the dependable standby.

I am your mirror
with an unseen reflection.

I am your pursuer
running away from myself.

I am your friend
more peripheral than visceral.

I am your confidante
unable to share feelings.

I am your lover
always last on the list.

I am your past
seeking resolution.

I am your present
struggling with grasping.

I am your karma
needing purification.