GUESS WHO'S NOT COMING TO DINNER?

The President announced he would not be attending the annual White House Correspondent's Dinner. He tweeted his regrets instead of holding a press conference. This is surprising, since journalists were looking forward a jovial evening roasting the President's love of the free press. Evidently his delicate gastric system cannot handle the menu's repast: cracked nuts, crow, cooked goose, and humble pie. Considering his recent anti-press vitriol, it would be tempting to conjecture he is boycotting the popular yearly event due to huevos pequenas but the alternative truth is he'll be too busy deporting immigrants, nixing healthcare for millions, and writing love letters to Putin.    

WHY THE LEAKS WON'T STOP

Dear Mr. President,
       This morning I read the above title in a "Politico" article indicating you are having problems with leaks. From what I could gather, it seems you are so concerned about this, that you directed your staff consult with FBI Director, James Comey, on options to reduce your effluence. Though Mr. Comey is a well known leaker (Hillary can testify to this), he is probably not the best person with whom to share such personally embarrassing information. Everyone knows Mr. Comey is kind of a gossip whose pretentious ways are prone to revealing sensitive information at the wrong time. FYI: as President, any casual conversation with the FBI can be construed not as 'bro' talk but as a breach of protocol. There is a better way of handling this discretely without the news media and SNL ridiculing your manliness when it comes to your lack of control.    
      Face facts: whenever most older politicians reach a certain time in their life, leaks are inevitable. Just ask Putin. He trusted the wrong confidantes with his leak issues and now they're dead. (Evidently the golden showers jokes put him over the edge.) You do not have to resort to these extreme measures, even though you have a fondness for making bad hombres pay. My suggestion is you discuss your seepage problems with Dr. Tom Price, your inside trading, orthopedic surgeon who now heads HHSA. Rest assured, it is not unusual for most men in your position to have difficulty confiding in their physician colleague about their strong, sudden need, or urgency, to find the leak before losing a large amount of control. As a politician and physician, Dr.Tom is no stranger to this. Miraculously, he overcame lots of bad press about his secret flow (and might even offer you some great advice on purchasing hot medical stocks to boot). Surely he'll maintain confidentiality, recommend options, and suggest placing you on medication, lessening the fear of further noticeable drips. These leaks may not entirely go away but the meds he prescribes may alleviate those headaches caused by the irritating fake news press disclosing them.

Best wishes,
Atira Aura



       

An Inconvenient Press

Trump's War on the First Amendment

Today the news headlines screamed of our President inching closer to the abridgment of free speech by prohibiting certain news outlets from participating in his White House press briefing at CPAC. The press corps excluded are the ones that Mr.Trump refers to as "enemies of the people" because they spread "fake news". I am not referring to the National Enquirer, Star Magazine, or Fox News. We are talking about the NY Times, Washington Post, CNN, and Politico. Every time the President rants about his unfavorable coverage, he becomes more vehement and aggressive. What's next? Send in the National Guard to round up those traitorous journalists and incarcerate them in Gitmo? Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

In June of 2016, an astute writer by the name of Clive Irving wrote an excellent article on then candidate Trump's bromance with Joseph Goebbels, the Minister of Propaganda under Hitler. The comparisons are unnerving. You may read this prophetic article by clicking on the following link:
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/06/11/donald-trump-isn-t-hitler-he-s-like-goebbels.html. 
What makes this a worthwhile read is that this reinforces how history repeats itself, lulling us into denial thinking this could never happen in America. Today we found out it could.

CAT OWNERSHIP NOT LINKED TO MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS, STUDY SAYS

From CNN: “Studies have suggested that cat ownership could be linked to certain mental disorders, such as schizophrenia, but researchers at University College London say they found no link between cat ownership and the development of psychotic symptoms.”

Whew, what a relief! But it still doesn't explain why my Kitty plots with the CIA to overthrow me, hypnotizes me with catatonic staring episodes, and chronically huffs high-grade catnip.  

MILO'S PEDOPHILIA PROBLEM

Poor Milo Yiannopoulos. As Breitbart’s flamboyant star of conservative hate-spewing discourse, he is now begging for mercy after his provocative interview endorsing illegal sexual activities with minors became widely publicized. Unlike Jerry Sandusky who remains in denial over his abuses, Milo’s defense was that some 13 year olds are more sexually mature, making it consensual versus illegal. His justification came from his own life when he boasted how a priest taught him to perform oral sex well when he was 14 years old. Among his other despicable beliefs is that relationships between adult men and teenage boys can be positive experiences. A particularly disturbing comment was, "Pedophilia is not a sexual attraction to somebody 13 years old who is sexually mature. Pedophilia is attraction to children who have not reached puberty." I wonder what Milo's definitions of puberty and sexual maturity are. 

Let me enlighten him. From the booklet, "When Males Have Been Sexually Abused As Children":
'What is sexual abuse? Sexual abuse is an abuse of power. If someone older, stronger or more experienced coerced you into sexual activity when you were a child or an adolescent, then you were sexually abused. The abuser may have won your trust, and then violated it by abusing you. He or she may have compounded the abuse by forcing you to keep it secret and by making you feel responsible. Sexual abuse doesn’t refer only to sexual touching. If you were forced as a child to watch sexual activity or pornography, this is a form of sexual abuse. If an adult continually invaded your privacy – by watching you shower, or making sexualized comments about your body, this is another form of sexual abuse."

The response to his pederast rhetoric was swift. He was forced out of Breitbart (though his spin is that he resigned), he lost his book deal with Simon and Schuster, and forevermore his name will be linked with his sexual infatuation with boys. But don't count Milo out yet. He is already spinning he is the victim and that his sexual victimization made him utter 'a poor choice of words'. Being a pariah is not as exciting as being a Trump mini me and this will cost him big. My guess is he will hire a crisis team, go into recovery as a sexual abuse victim, have a spiritual awakening renouncing his sincerely deluded predatory inclinations, and desist espousing man boy love as healthy. 

One can't help but wonder from the remarks he's made if this is just the tip of the iceberg. We see this with proponents of pederasty-rarely do they talk but not act. Now that the cat is out of the bag, I suspect his kittens may come forward. Stay tuned.

THE SOLAR ECLIPSE ON FEBRUARY 26th

Isn't it beautiful? This is what the lucky souls in the southern half of South America and the western half of Africa will be viewing when the solar eclipse on February 26th occurs at 2:58 p.m. GMT. For those of us on the west coast of the U.S., the event will happen at 6:58 a.m. PST.

All solar eclipses symbolically represent a new start. Of course, one does not get a fresh new start without a final good bye. Since this eclipse occurs in the 12th house of secrets, things hidden, and transformations, expect to be surprised by information potent enough to ignite a shift in perception allowing unexplored avenues or solutions to be made evident. This emotional letting go will have a cathartic effect for the better. Suddenly doors will open giving one the courage to change. The time is now.

OMG, SWEDEN IS UNDER TERRORIST ATTACK

Dear Sweden,

         Yesterday our President made mention about the terrorist attack that has beset your nation. I am kind of surprised our President did not offer any military assistance to you but I am sure he is waiting for Fox news to report the extent of the incursion before he acts. Certainly he does understand the attack you endured is not fake news.

         As a woman who has lived with your descendants in Minnesota, I wish to express my shock, offer my sympathies, and support your efforts to curb terrorism caused by your immigrants. Personally, I have never trusted those Norwegians you let in-you know their blond ambition is ruthless. Being a neutral nation has left you vulnerable to their Viking-like beserking. And BTW: the Finns are even worse-they'll bankrupt your healthcare system with never ending treatments for depression. Let this be a lesson for you. 

         You may want to consider President Trump's plan for managing immigrants terrorists:

1. First consider building a wall. I'd begin with Norway as you cannot let their lutefisk and gamalost become integrated as one of your favorite foods like salsa and tacos are in the U.S. Those Norwegian delicacies alone should make the Geneva Convention's list of inhuman punishments. 

2. Pass illegal legislation mandating the deportation and restricted importation of the usual suspects. One can never really disprove a fear-based conspiracy theory, so the odds of success are in your favor until your judiciary branch gets involved.

3. Joan Crawford wisely advised when playing the tough warden in a rioting women's prison film to control dangerous offenders with the "intelligent use of force". I hear water-boarding is particularly effective.

4. Declare anyone who is opposed to your policies as "enemies of the people". No approval-oriented social media fan wants to be accused of being an enemy by the government-it's not politically correct and can ruin the chance of employability. 
5. Twitter endless shame-based messages to anyone who disagrees with your point of view as 'bad' or 'terrible' people. Humiliation always works as an effective psychological deterrent. Just ask anyone who attended parochial school.

5. And finally, condemn your insurgents to wear Ivanka's cheesy fashions. Unlike water-boarding, they will surely die from embarrassment and the steep cost of garishness.

          Good luck, Sweden. 

        

         

Do All Power-Crazed Leaders Think Similarly?

"Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it" - Adolf Hitler

“Politics is when you say you are going to do one thing while intending to do another. Then you do neither what you said nor what you intended.” - Saddam Hussein

“I know that fewer people are won over by the written word than by the spoken word and that every great movement on this earth owes its growth to great speakers and not to great writers.”― Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf

“Ideas are more powerful than guns. We would not let our enemies have guns, why should we let them have ideas.” – Josef Stalin

"I am the object of criticism around the world. But I think that since I am being discussed, then I am on the right track." - Kim Jong-Il

“The American president increasingly used his influence to create conflicts, intensify existing conflicts, and, above all, to keep conflicts from being resolved peacefully. For years this man looked for a dispute anywhere in the world, but preferably in Europe, that he could use to create political entanglements with American economic obligations to one of the contending sides, which would then steadily involve America in the conflict and thus divert attention from his own confused domestic economic policies.”― Adolf Hitler

A Traumatic Diagnosis Called Perpetual Trump Stress Disorder

"Qin Shi Huang

Reign: 247-210 B.C.

Qin, also called Qin Shihuangdi, also called Qin Shihuangdi, united China in 221 B.C. 
and ruled as the first emperor 
of the Qin dynasty. He was known to order 
the killing of scholars whose ideas he disagreed
 with and the burning of "critical" books. During
his reign, he ordered the construction of a great wall."  -Brittanica

Sound familiar? These are incredibly unsettled times. Those of us shocked and appalled by our President's undignified speech, intimidating manner, and unmitigated disdain for anything beyond his seemingly ADD fixations (ie, the size of his crowds, how he would have won the popular vote, & how adored he is). Other than the president for the people, he is the avaricious monarch for those with the requisite fortune to secure a plum presidential appointment. Though I thought Donald Rumsfeld, Carl Rove, and the Bush thugs were ghastly, this new Trump gaggle of clueless millionaires and billionaires are ladróns tortuoso. Every day I hold my breath waiting for his administration to enact another frightening edict.

Watching the past few weeks of this administration's machinations has awakened fairy tale memories from childhood about tyrant kings, machiavellian court politicos, and ruthless royalty, all scurrying for the king's favor as they amass more power. As scary as they were, there was always a happily ever after ending. No such luck with this reality. My lugubrious mood has me seeking solace from self-help books offering coping mechanisms for my dour adjustment disorder. I decided to research my symptoms hoping there might be an appropriate anti-psychotic that might ease my free floating anxiety.

The bible of mental health diagnoses is called the DSM-5. Though there is no diagnosis called Perpetual Trump Stress Disorder, I would like to propose one. Like PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) the definition from the National Institute of Mental Health is quite similar: "PTSD is a disorder that develops in some people who have experienced a shocking, scary, or dangerous event." Isn't that what daily life has been like since the
Trump minions have lorded over us with their nonstop assault on our intellect and humanity?  

The National Institute of Mental Health did have some other suggestions:

'Some resilience factors that may reduce the risk of PTSD include:

• Seeking out support from other people, such as friends and family
• Finding a support group after a traumatic event
• Learning to feel good about one’s own actions in the face of danger
• Having a positive coping strategy, or a way of getting through the bad event and learning from it
• Being able to act and respond effectively despite feeling fear.'

• Together we can overcome.
• 
  

Valentine's Day-Gone but Not Forgotten

For some reason Valentine's day really bothered me this year. Usually I write heartfelt Valentines to all of my friends telling them how much they mean to me, but not this year. A depressing pall had overtaken me apathetically draining me of the emotional sentience needed to write fond Valentine's Day cards. As I languished in self-pity, I decided to take action. If I could resurrect my Valentine's Day ennui with a date, the effort might salvage my abysmal mood. Emboldened with hope, I posted my heart's desire online. Here is an abbreviated text of what I wrote:

'Exceptional Valentine aspirant had been looking to fulfill her fantasy of having a romantic Valentine's Day. You know, one with dinner, flowers, and a glass of champagne. To be clear, this is not one of those vapid prurient ads desperately wanting a Valentine's FB or FWB. Though I have nothing against that, I am simply underwhelmed by their crude, coarse, and vulgar overtures in what should be a celebration of valuing someone who inspires, delights, and arouses passion. What turns me on is intellect, rapport, finesse, and savoir faire, thrown in together with a bit of levity. Sounds like a pleasant way to enjoy Valentine's Day to me. I promise you'll be pleasantly surprised by my blond bravado, provocative discourse, and obvious cerebral charms. '

The first response seemed promising. However, after this potential suitor demanded a veritable photo album of me before committing to a dinner, his fixation with wanting me to be his Valentine decoration plain bored me to tears. Declining his invitation politely, I informed him that I was more than just a picture.

The responses which followed were far more amazing and inspiring. These men were all in their 20s and 30s (to be fair, I did include my seasoned age in this posting). I was touched by their genuine respectful sweetness and, in spite of being old enough to be their mother, they expressed they found me to be fascinating and alluring potential date. What they repeated said is that I spoke to both their intellect and passion. This turned them on.

Why would an older woman trump the chance at a hot date with a young lovely? Many of them disclosed to me that the high standards younger women expected of them caused them significant angst. This included being an achieving, wealthy, sperm-donating available prince with the ability to sire genetically superior trophy children. No wonder older women look so appealing. 

Flattering as these cubs were, I politely sent regrets but secretly I did relish their attentiveness. Too bad I couldn't attract such admiration with my own generation of men.  

Now post-Valentine's Day, a couple of these jeune hommes responders have asked to continue writing me. I think I'll let them-at least for a while.