"SANTIAGO, Chile -- Pope Francis accused victims of Chile's most notorious pedophile of slander Thursday, an astonishing end to a visit meant to help heal the wounds of a sex abuse scandal that has cost the Catholic Church its credibility in the country. Francis said that until he sees proof that Bishop Juan Barros was complicit in covering up the sex crimes of the Rev. Fernando Karadima, such accusations against Barros are "all calumny." -CBSnews.com
Today's headline about the Pope accusing victims of sexual abuse as slanderous is nothing new. It's the norm. And people wonder why the "Me, too" has emerged as a powerful forum on sexual harassment and abuse. It is because victims are fearful they won't be believed, feel ashamed, and know the power of retribution. They suffer in silence hiding their 'dirty secrets'. Why? Because the predator skillfully knows how to manipulate the story line. Predators know how induce fear so the victim believes she will:
-be portrayed as seductive, crazy, or 'asking for it', or making it up;
-worry the her perpetrator is powerful enough to appear as a wrongfully accused pillar of the community (with supporters who denounce the her with disparaging verbal assaults);
-be terrorized because there are verbal, emotional, social, and physical threats made by the perpetrator.
-regret the publicity, have old wounds reopened, and face a barrage of criticism why she waited so long to acknowledge the abuse.
Why would anyone want to go through this? The conspiracy of silence, supported by a climate of denial, is preferable to the trauma of public disclosure.
Sexual abuse is more common than one can imagine. You'd be hard pressed to find a woman who hasn't personally known a friend, relative, or some other woman who hasn't silently swallowed being sexually victimized. After years of covering up their shame, a number of my female friends shared their abuse stories with me. They felt they had to 'tell someone'-they needed to know someone believed them. Because women tend to share close bonds, we know it is rare that w woman would make up a secret like this, hide it for years, and then only divulge this on condition it will not be repeated. We have seen how some of our fellow females have struggled with past sexual abuse. Even when there is a good set of coping mechanisms, dealing with being sexually violated takes time to heal and some never escape the issues that emerge when trauma goes unresolved.
Even after years or decades of secrecy, women who have been sexually abused are afraid of their abuse being revealed because of enduring the painful consequences of retelling what happened. They suffer PTSD symptoms having to relive the abuse, risk humiliation at having their credibility impeached, and by impugning the predator's reputation they are told their experiences are just 'false memories'. I have heard it all.
Pope Francis, as you protect those complicit in knowing and protecting those who perpetrated this horrific sexual abuse under your religious authority, you are equally as guilty in propagating the sexual exploitation of children. The conspiracy of silence ends here.
Mr. Trump's purported comments about immigrants from 'shithole' countries immigrating to the United States really hit a nerve with me. My paternal grandparents came to the US (pre-World War l from Poland) to escape the horror of war. The relatives who were left behind suffered unimaginable suffering which was later repeated with World War ll. When my grandparents immigrated to this country, they too were looked upon as 'shithole' immigrants. They were viewed as too stupid to hold any intelligent job and too backward to assimilate. To this day, Polish jokes abound in spite of them having one of the highest literacy rates in Europe, higher than even the United States. But stereotypes die hard; it is easy to cling to bias and prejudice.
Because I was quite young when my grandparents died, I only have vague memories of them. The only thing I know is that they came here to escape persecution and wanted their progeny to have a better life. They could have not have envisioned how their brave choice to emigrate allowed their descendants to flourish. They were often derided as 'DPs' aka, dumb Pollacks. Their foreign language, different culture, and choice to live within their local Polish community reinforced preconceived ideas about them. This stereotype continues today, but now that we have Africans, Asians, and people of Hispanic descent (mainly people of color), the Caucasian Poles are not as big of a target. Color, not culture, has replaced the worn out stereotypes of what Mr. Trump and many in our country fear. Their foreign languages, cultures, and tendency to live in their own communities make them a target of prejudice as much as the Irish, Italians, and Poles were more than a hundred years ago.
My grandparents did not live to see what their lineage produced: an incredible list of highly intelligent professional people who have contributed to our society. They would have been proud to know their courageous journey to find a better life in this country produced such accomplished progeny.
BTW: I am in good company. "A quick glance at Wikipedia's list of Polish people demonstrates the stereotype as false. Poland has produced notable minds in such diverse areas of knowledge as Astronomy (Nicolaus Copernicus), Chemistry (Marie Curie), Music (Frédéric Chopin and Henryk Górecki), Literature (Stanisław Lem), Religion (Karol Józef Wojtyla AKA Pope John Paul II), and Politics (Lech Wałęsa). A deeper look into that list reveals a number of highly intelligent Polish people who are less well known." -Wikipedia
The other half of my family is the coveted group Mr. Trump would like to see immigrate (I am also Irish, French, and Scandinavian). Basically in Mr. Trump's world, white people are good, people of color are bad. It is time for this to change. The change starts with us as individuals.
We have forgotten we are a nation of immigrants. We have lost touch with why our forebearers originally came to this country. We forget that all people want a better life for their children. I do not know what the solution is to our immigration problem but I know it is not castigating them for wanting what my grandparents wanted for me.
