"The Kobe Bryant rape case has, in the annals of popular culture, been reduced to something of a punchline due to the aftermath—namely, Bryant’s $4 million, 8-carat purple diamond apology ring that he gifted to his wife, Vanessa. But what exactly transpired on the night of June 30, 2003, at the Lodge & Spa at Cordillera, in Colorado, may always be a mystery. Despite being charged with sexual assault and false imprisonment—facing life in prison—and tearfully confessing to committing adultery with his 19-year-old accuser, Bryant’s case never made it to trial. On Sept. 1, 2004, one week before opening statements were to be made, the case was dismissed after the accuser, who had been dragged through the mud for months by the media and Bryant’s defense team, informed the court that she would not testify. The woman had filed a separate civil suit against Bryant, and had agreed to dismissal of the sexual-assault charge against him provided the athlete issued the following apology to his accuser, which was read in court by Bryant’s attorney:
First, I want to apologize directly to the young woman involved in this incident. I want to apologize to her for my behavior that night and for the consequences she has suffered in the past year. Although this year has been incredibly difficult for me personally, I can only imagine the pain she has had to endure. I also want to apologize to her parents and family members, and to my family and friends and supporters, and to the citizens of Eagle, Colo. I also want to make it clear that I do not question the motives of this young woman. No money has been paid to this woman. She has agreed that this statement will not be used against me in the civil case. Although I truly believe this encounter between us was consensual, I recognize now that she did not and does not view this incident the same way I did. After months of reviewing discovery, listening to her attorney, and even her testimony in person, I now understand how she feels that she did not consent to this encounter. I issue this statement today fully aware that while one part of this case ends today, another remains. I understand that the civil case against me will go forward. That part of this case will be decided by and between the parties directly involved in the incident and will no longer be a financial or emotional drain on the citizens of the state of Colorado." -The Daily Beast
When one reads the actual account of Kobe's 'alleged' rape, it is horrific account of a brutal assault. Later after this statement Kobe read, the accuser filed a civil lawsuit which she won. It was swept under the carpet until Washington Post reporter Felicia Sonmez (who may not have 'appropriately' tweeted this alleged rape incident hours after Kobe's untimely death and tsunami of basketball glorification) but she, like most women, never forget men that 'allegedly' assault women.
"The tweet by political reporter Felicia Sonmez sparked a furious backlash on social media, with many deeming it inappropriate just hours after Bryant and his daughter, Gianna, were killed in a helicopter crash outside of Los Angeles. In the wake of her posting, Sonmez said she received death and rape threats and her home address was posted online, compelling her to stay at a hotel overnight." -Washington Post
Though Ms. Somnez's timing for tweeting may be ill-timed considering the loss for Mr. Bryant's family, I nevertheless commend her for punctuating the glorification of a man for his basketball prowess and dismissing his 'alleged' rape. Just like Michael Jackson, Harvey Weinstein, and other men of power, women are exasperated seeing these men 'allegedly' commit heinous sexual assaults get ennobled by the press and his powerful friends. From Barack Obama to late night hosts, women wonder if their powerful 'alleged' rapist goes free, how will they deal with a public that deifies a man while forgetting, denigrating, or denying his 'alleged' victim(s).
I am fortunate that I have never been raped. However, the majority of women I know either have reported almost being raped, have been raped at some point in their lives, or have been the victim of sexual abuse. These women never forget being sexually assaulted and frequently recount the harrowing effect of living with sexual assault to their closest female friends. Usually these admissions are kept a secret because women are trained that coming forward with sexual assault allegations will only traumatize them further when they have to testify against their 'alleged' rapist (who frequently receives no punishment). That's why women don't report sexual assaults-they fear the repercussions. One just has to see what Felicia Sonmez is going through for reporting Kobe Bryant's 'alleged' rape. Ms. Sonmez reminds us that we have not come that far when it comes to reminding us of an enormously popular athlete 'alleged' sexual assault.
This blog is dedicated to all the women who have told me their 'secrets', endured a lifetime of PTSD from sexual assault, and have coped with the fallout as best as they could.