Homophilia Redefined

    After reaching critical mass from my Mercury retrograde tsunami, I visited a gay friend for tea and sympathy. Actually, it was white wine and Alfredo pizza but it had the same effect. Being of the same generation and from Minnesota, we share the same language, the same quirky Midwestern sense of humor, and an emotional bond most straight couples would envy. Throughout the evening, as we talked, laughed, and watched TV, I felt the dark curtain of my melancholia lifting. By the time I awoke this morning, I felt my tete a tete with my friend was like taking a gay antidepressant, without the pesky side effects. A calmer, more balanced woman emerged from the wreckage, simply by communing with a simpatico soul.

    Most women who have gay friends know they are indispensable. Straight women (SW) and gay men (GM) share an ineffable affinity. We know the world is run by straight white men who mostly disdain the notion of equality with anyone other than their gender and sexual preference. Life is a daily struggle proving we are just as intelligent, competent, and dynamic. We are constantly barraged by behavioral slights such as snickers, rolling eyes, shaken heads, and other visual cues of disapproval. Even when we are employed in workplaces which tout equality, we continue to experience a glass ceiling no one will admit that’s still there. When not at work, we must be vigilant in a world who sees us as less than, deserving any victimization for openly displaying our natures, and scorns us for demanding equality. Maybe this is why SW and GM connect so deeply: we know the harsh reality of existence on a planet run by oppressors. We may win rights from time to time to ameliorate this unconscionable situation, but in our hearts we know attitudes and behaviors are another matter.

    Homophilia is strictly defined as a noun, “being a homosexual”. However, another definition states it is, “advocating or supporting the interests, civil rights, and welfare of homosexuals”. I would like to propose another interpretation.

    Homophilia: the act of having affinity for or being in concert with one who is homosexual. It is an emotional, intellectual, and spiritual knowing of how being homosexual profoundly affects an individual in society. The intuitive understanding of this enables an unwavering compassionate bond of affection and respect for how homosexuality enhances the humanization of our culture. Homophilia incorporates the importance of advocating, supporting, and demanding the egalitarian civil rights of homosexuals which promotes their interests, welfare, and value to our global community.

      I want to dedicate this blog to my incredible gay friend on Madison Ave, and the rest of my gay harem, whom I love, cherish, and adore. Thank you for contributing so much to my life.