Now that many women (and some men) in Hollywood have acknowledged being sexually harassed or assaulted by producers, their seems to be emerging a double standard about working with predators. Kate Winslet recently said she purposely did not thank Harvey Weinsten when she received her Oscar, yet she went on to tout her role in the new Woody Allen movie. Did she forget Mr. Allen's history of sexual abuse? Or is the story of his former lover seeking revenge by accusing him of sexual abuse just another story to overlook?
Hollywood seems to conveniently forget about the furor Mr. Allen ignited when it was discovered he had taken naked photos of his then non-married spouse's teenage daughter or Roman Polanski's admission of having sex with a 13 year old girl. Actors and actresses work with them without batting an eyelash. But for anyone who has been a victim of sexual predation, we know these men are just as guilty.
At one point in my career, I worked with victims of sexual assault. One gets a different perspective of predatory behavior when you hear how difficult it is to recover from child sexual 'molestation'. Most victims never fully recover-they don't just 'get over it' and usually struggle with its aftermath for the rest of their lives. It is not unusual that they spend years in and out of therapy (if it is afforded to them), suffer bouts of anxiety and depression, get easily addicted to alcohol and drugs to block out the victimization, and tend to have more trauma-bonded abusive relationships. Corey Haim and Corey Feldman are examples of this. To this day, their offenders have not been named due to the power their abusers still have in Hollywood. When one looks at the history of child stars dying at a young age, one suspects many of them who didn't make it to adulthood carried a heavy secret to their graves.
Mr. Allen and Mr. Polanski remain in denial that their abuse did any lasting damage. After all, Mr. Polanski's victim has said she has forgiven him and Mr. Allen married his child victim to legitimize that what he did was not abuse but love. My question to the Hollywood community is: would you let either of these men spend any time alone with your young teenage daughter? It is a myth that time reduces the urge to prey on young girls. These two are just better at appearing they are leading 'normal' lives.
When the allegations of sexual abuse surfaced with these two prominent directors, I have made a conscious choice to avoid seeing any of their films. They may be talented but I choose not to support offenders-no matter how much time has elapsed. Maybe it is because I still carry the memories of the many victims who have suffered at the hands of predators. As these two move forward with awarded movies, the victims I worked with continue to struggle psychologically and emotionally. I cannot so easily forget.
One of the best books I have read about the life long aftermath of sexual abuse is, "The Conspiracy of Silence'. This is an older book but powerful in its ability to describe in horrific detail what victims of incest experience. This book skillfully lays out not just the victims point of view but how the victim's constellation prevents the abuse from being reported through denial and silence. After reading this book, one cannot so easily brush off abuse as, "that happened long ago".
A person in Hollywood that has given the most honest statement on abuse has been Jane Fonda. She admitted she knew of Harvey Weinstein's abuse and said nothing. It takes courage to publicly admit one supported abuse by silence. By her public apology, Ms. Fonda has started an important dialogue of how to break the cycle of abuse by speaking out. Will Hollywood learn from this?
More importantly, what can we learn from this?
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