SAVVY SORCERESS SEEKING WISE WIZARD

Sometimes witches just wanna have fun. This week in a fit of ennui, I decided to place an unusual posting for a date. Since I have been sorely disappointed with my past online dating outcomes, I became determined to write a memorable ad just to see what kind of results I would get. This is what I posted:

'Savvy sorceress is seeking to expand her quest to find a wise wizard for an enchanting association. To be clear, I am not looking for warlocks with benefits as I have medical, dental, and other pension perks from my own exciting career manufacturing broomsticks. Additionally, I am not into FBs (fortuneteller buddies) due to their limited appeal. However, an astute conjurer of words might be able to whisk me away from my coven if he bewitches me with sagacious spells, charms me with clever hexes, and demonstrates witty sophic soothsaying. 

This sibyl's diversity of interests includes advising Macbeth, brewing potions, cauldron cooking, and hanging out at the lair. My prognostications foresee a likely bond with an available alchemist who rather enjoys the company of a quirky crone with a wicked sense of humor and a penchant for the innovative. Would be thrilled to experience magical magnetism with the right oracle. 

BTW: those already hypnotized by marriage, mesmerized by other enchantresses, or are besieged by misfortune tellers would be better off following the yellow brick road."

Not expecting anything but a deletion from my clever post, the universe surprised me with a number of humorous replies. Here is my favorite:
"It’s a shame that house landed on your sister!"
To which I responded: "She was such a good witch. Thank you for sharing your grief-I miss her, too." 

Online dating really can be fun.