Dear Mr. Trump,
While you're stewing in your rageaholic fantasies of revenge, here are some calming thoughts to help you in your moment of unbridled despair:
-Pat Robertson is praying for you no matter which alternate universe is your permanent residence.
-Haldol can help with those hyper, fury-fueled fits.
-Think of yourself as successfully being impeached again. You're the winner of Q-Anon's most popular impeached president.
-At least Rudy and Don Jr. can be your jailhouse pen pals.
-Don't worry about all those so-called loyalists fleeing your sinking ship. Mike Pence will find them a new job.
-When the tear gas exploded on Capitol Hill, your message to wear masks finally was heard by your constituents.
-Don't worry about being homeless and jobless. Putin, Maduro, & Erdogan will take care of you.
-Even though Melania's 'Be Best' campaign was an utter failure, and she never made a major fashion cover during your presidency, you both can be featured on 'White Supremacy Weekly'.
-Now that the taxpayers & the RNC will no longer be paying for your lawsuits, golf, & pork, you can proudly claim to your supporters that you weaned yourself off of welfare.
-Since you've resumed the federal death penalty, death by firing squad for treason means you don't have to pardon yourself.
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