The Case of the Missing White House Tree

In a united gesture of goodwill, Trump and President Macron planted a tree on the White House grounds. Now it has mysteriously gone missing. What happened to this icon of hope? Here are the current conspiracy theories as to what happened to it:

-Scott Pruitt was worried planting a tree might somehow lead to a discussion on climate change and had it redacted.

-Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke sold it to one of his lumber lobbyists.

-The lone French tree knew Trump's immigration policy would have it deported eventually. Knowing it had a better chance at surviving where it came from, it booked the first plane back to Paris.

-Melania had it dug up, flocked, and stored for her next Halloween-like Christmas extravaganza.

-Michael Cohen is secretly representing the tree which means the New York Attorney General's office has secured it as evidence.

-The chilly environmental policies of the Trump administration froze it to death.

-Sarah Huckabee Sanders claims there never was any tree. It was all just fake news.

-Jeff Sessions has recused himself from the investigation so we may never know what really happened to it.

-Eric Trump cut it up and mounted for a trophy. After all, it was on the endangered species list.

-White supremacists cut it down protesting the opening of the Peace and Justice Museum.

-Trump and Macron's bromance upset Pence so much he feared the tree was gay and had it put in a closet.

-Trump suspected the tree was actually a Comey plant and had it fired.

-The tree was not big enough to provide enough wood to burn Stormy, along with Trump's other embarrassing sexual liaisons, at the stake. Can you say kindling?

-After Macron's surprising diss of Trump's policies in front of Congress, Trump had the tree sent to Guantanamo.

-Michelle Wood's brutal take down of Trump at the White House Correspondents' Dinner soured him on all things wood. Guilt by association led to its mysterious disappearance.

TIME'S UP BILL COSBY

"Bill Cosby Found Guilty in Sexual-Assault Trial, the First Major Conviction of #MeToo Era

Cosby, 80, faces 30 years in prison after he was convicted on all counts of drugging and assaulting Andrea Constand—one of more than 60 women who say he raped them." -The Daily Beast

"Rape is the most under-reported crime; 63% of sexual assaults are not reported to police." -nsvrc.org

REST IN PEACE BARBARA BUSH

Good bye Barbara Bush. We will miss your strength, honesty, and no nonsense approach to life. Thank you for always reminding us to thrive. Rest in peace.

Here are a few of Mrs. Bush's memorable quotes:

"At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent."

"Never lose sight of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success will be how you treat other people - your family, friends, and coworkers, and even strangers you meet along the way."

"If human beings are perceived as potentials rather than problems, as possessing strengths instead of weaknesses, as unlimited rather that dull and unresponsive, then they thrive and grow to their capabilities."

TALKING TO THE DEAD

It has now been more than six months since the sudden and unexpected death of my closest friend, Robyn. Personally I've hated the term 'closest friend' because she was, in reality, more like a twin sister. Losing her in a lightning flash has been tough-the hardest death I've had to grieve in decades. For the last half year I have been haunted by this punch to the heart, dealing with the major and minor changes this beloved woman's passing has created.

We no longer exist in a society which recognizes the extent loss affects us. Grieving the death of a loved one is something technology cannot ameliorate. The intensity of this process is unpredictable, persistent, and exposes a raw vulnerability you may have never withstood. Though I am quite familiar with loss, this one has been especially hard to grieve.

To honor my psychic twin, I found comfort in creating a shrine for her in my living room. I see Robyn's shrine daily. For awhile I would say the Phowa prayer for her but then I just started talking to her. It seems odd to talk to a picture, but the more I did the better I felt about her passing. Sometimes I will just tell her about my day and other times I ask her what advice she has for me in situations where I feel stuck. She doesn't answer but that does not matter. What matters is, as I mourn her not physically being here she is there in spirit. It helps me remember those inspiring times we had together and what made her an indispensable friend. Whenever I feel overwrought by her death, I look at her shrine I can almost hear her voice telling me it is going to be okay. 

Talking to the dead is not something I would speak about openly. One can be put in psychiatric jeopardy admitting something like this. Even though my other friends are sympathetic to my loss, I frequently feel acknowledging my continued sorrow bores them to tears. It's almost as if I can telepathically hear them say, "move on". But one does not move on so easily when your heart is shattered and a forged bond has been severed.

I know there will come a time when my grieving will ease and I will 'move forward' with less heartache. Until then I will continue to talk to Robyn.

Watching the 'March for Our Lives' yesterday gave me hope. All those bright young people grappling with ineffable shock were able put a voice to the tragedy of death by senseless murder. They, too, were talking not only to the living but also to their deceased classmates. I was especially impressed by 11 year old Naomi Wadler representing girls of color who died and never made 'front page news'. Their grief is still fresh yet they had the where with all to galvanize their sorrow into action. By speaking for the dead they honor all those who have fell victim to gun violence. Who knew talking to the dead could create a revolution?

"AND THE CHILDREN SHALL LEAD THEM...": THE INSPIRING 'MARCH FOR OUR LIVES'

Trump Cries ‘Witch Hunt’ And The Jokes Just Write Themselves

"President Trump tweeted out several guest segments from various Fox News shows on Tuesday, denying claims his campaign colluded with the Russians.

“WITCH HUNT!” Mr. Trump tweeted.

This was hardly an unusual message for the president. According to the Trump Twitter Archive, he’s tweeted the phrase “witch hunt” 24 times since last January, including three times just this month."
-MSNBC

WHY ARE PARENTS/GUARDIANS OF MENTALLY DISTURBED HIGH SCHOOL SHOOTERS ALLOWING THEM TO ACCESS GUNS?

'Host dad who took in Florida school shooting suspect: "It's his right" to have an AR-15'-CBS NEWS

Cruz had been living with the Snead family for about three months when the 19-year-old allegedly carried out the deadliest school shooting in Florida history. 
"How many guns did he have?" Blackstone asked.
"I'm not sure. Five or six," James said.
"He was coming into your house and you didn't know how many guns he had?" Blackstone asked.
"I knew he had five or six; I didn't know what kind they were. It didn't matter what kind of guns they were. I have guns. I respect guns as long as they're handled properly, safely. And one of the stipulations before moving in was to have a gun safe before he moved in," James said.
"So you wanted him to have a gun safe, but you didn't know how many guns or what kind of guns they were that he would be putting in the safe?" Blackstone said.
"I knew he had hunting rifles," James responded.
"You thought they were just hunting rifles?" Blackstone asked.
"I knew he had [an] assault rifle, but I knew he used it out hunting," James said.
"That seemed a reasonable thing," Blackstone said.
"It's his right to own a gun," James responded.
"You thought it was fine for a 19-year-old to have an AR-15?" Blackstone asked.
"It's his right to have it," James said.
"Do you feel any differently about that now?" Blackstone asked.
"No. Nope," James said.
According to a Florida Department of Children and Families, Cruz suffered from depression, ADHD and autism. Between 2011 and 2016, Broward County sheriff deputies were called to Cruz's mother's home 39 times, several of them allegedly due to Cruz's violent outbursts. -CBS NEWS
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Where have we heard these stories before of parents or guardians of mentally disturbed teens being given or allowed possession of guns? Here's the list from Wikipedia:

Columbine-Where were Harris and Klebold's parents all this time? They have never spoken publicly about Columbine, but in police interviews they said they had no idea about the arsenal of weapons their sons were amassing in their bedrooms - including knives, guns, cans full of gunpowder, coils of bomb fuse, and bombs - more than 100 of them, including pipe bombs, propane bombs and homemade grenades.

Marysville Pilchuck High School shooting occurred in Marysville, Washington, on October 24, 2014, when 15-year-old freshman student Jaylen Fryberg shot five other students at Marysville Pilchuck High School, fatally wounding four, before fatally shooting himself. Fryberg's father, Raymond Fryberg, was arrested and convicted the following year for illegally purchasing and owning the gun used in the shooting, among other firearms.

he Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting occurred on December 14, 2012. Adam Peter Lanza (April 22, 1992 – December 14, 2012) and his mother lived in Sandy Hook, 5 miles (8 km) from the elementary school. He did not have a criminal record. He had access to guns through his mother, Nancy Lanza, who was described as a "gun enthusiast who owned at least a dozen firearms".Nancy often took her two sons to a local shooting range, where they learned to shoot. Lanza's father said he does not believe his ex-wife Nancy Lanza feared her son Adam. She did not confide any fear of Adam to her sister or to her best friend; she slept with her bedroom door unlocked and she kept guns in the house where she lived with Adam.

The Red Lake shootings were a series of spree killings that occurred on March 21, 2005 in two places on the Red Lake Indian Reservation in Red Lake, Minnesota. The day of the shootings, Weise retrieved a Ruger MK II .22 caliber pistol from his bedroom and fatally shot his grandfather as he was sleeping; he shot him two times in the head and ten times in the chest. According to Weise's friends, the teenager may have had the gun for as long as a year. He took Lussier's two police-issue weapons, a .40 caliber Glock 23 pistol and a Remington 870 12 gauge pump-actionshotgun, a gunbelt and a bullet-proof vest. He began shooting into an English classroom, killing three students and one teacher, and wounding three students. Ashley Lajeunesse said that Chase Lussier (no direct relation to Daryl Lussier) sheltered her, and was one of those shot by Weise. Jeffrey May, a 16-year-old sophomore, tried to wrestle Weise inside the classroom, and stabbed him in the stomach with a pencil. His diversion allowed students to flee the classroom to safety, but Weise shot May two times in the neck and once in the jaw, leaving him seriously injured.

On May 20, 1998, 15-year-old Kinkel was suspended pending an expulsion hearing from Thurston High School in Springfield, Oregon, for being in possession of a loaded, stolen handgun. TheThurston High School shooting took place on May 21, 1998. A friend of Kinkel's had stolen a pistol from the father of one of his friends and arranged to sell the weapon to Kinkel the night before. Kinkel paid $110 for the Beretta Model 90 .32-caliber pistol loaded with a 9-round magazine, which he then placed in a paper bag and left in his locker. Kinkel retrieved his Ruger .22-caliber semi-automatic rifle from his bedroom and ammunition from his parents' bedroom. He then went to the kitchen and shot his father once in the back of the head, then dragged his body into the bathroom and covered it with a sheet. Kinkel further stated that his mother arrived home at about 6:30 p.m., and that he met her in the garage, told her he loved her, then shot her twice in the back of the head, three times in the face, and once in the heart. He then dragged her body across the floor and covered it with a sheet. Kinkel parked on North 61st Street, two blocks from the school, then jogged to the campus, entered the patio area and fired two shots, one fatally wounding Ben Walker and the other wounding Ryan Atteberry. He went to the cafeteria and, walking across it, fired the remaining 48 rounds from his rifle, wounding 24 students^[5] and fatally wounding 17-year-old Mikael Nickolauson. Kinkel fired a total of 50 rounds, hitting with 37 of those, and killing two.

Charles Andrew "Andy" Williams (born February 8, 1986) is a convicted murderer who, as a 15-year-old, perpetrated the shooting at Santana High School on March 5, 2001. In the shooting, two students were killed and 13 others were wounded. On Monday, March 5, 2001 at 9:20 a.m., 15-year-old Williams entered a boys' bathroom at Santana High School with a loaded .22-caliber revolver taken from his father’s locked gun cabinet and fatally shot a freshman. He then left the bathroom and began firing the revolver indiscriminately at other students, killing another. According to one witness, Williams repeatedly walked out of the bathroom, fired shots, then went back into the bathroom.