New Brooms Sweep Dirt

 They say new brooms sweep clean or so I've heard. What dirt is our soon to be president sweeping into this New Year?

1. Committing, convicting, I mean pardoning more criminals, sorry, I mean 'American patriots'.

2. Plotting the 'Night of the Long Knives' American-style.

3. Gearing up for the Proud Boys parade.

4. Spouting bad presidential mathematics.

5. Taking your niece Mary's advice by going into treatment to deal with suicidal ego loss & self-destructive rage spirals. 

Trump's New Years Resolutions

 

1. Fire Melania for her incredibly poor interior design skills.

2. Look for a new non-litigious Florida home and a much younger wife.

3. Become the Q-Anon President for life.

4. Ditch wearing Depends for big boy pants.

5. Hook up with another treacherous dictator buddy 'cause Putin congratulated Biden on winning.

6. Beg Mark Burnett to install you as 'The Unmasked Biggest Loser'.

7. Sign federal execution orders for Brian Kemp, Mitch McConnell, & Mitt Romney.

8. Make a bigly blockbuster porno with Stormy Daniels.

9. Get a new toupee.

10. Take a basic spelling class for future press covfefe.

What is 'Herd Mentality'?

What is 'herd mentality'?

A. Secretly wanting to be a sheep (e.g., QANON, Rush 

      Limbaugh).

B. The fear of not being 'heard' by a tone-deaf president.

C. A gaffe made by uneducated, science-phobic people.

D. Mass wishful thinking steeped in pandemic delusion.

E. Another daily comic moment from an incompetent politician who drinks    

    bleach.

Steve Bannon, Destined For the New Sculpture Garden

Former White House chief strategist, Steve Bannon, was arrested for fraud in connection with bilking investors who contributed to Bannon's 'Build the Wall' fund.

'Bannon, Kolfage, Andrew Badolato and Timothy Shea are charged with one count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud and one count of conspiracy to commit money laundering.

"As alleged, the defendants defrauded hundreds of thousands of donors, capitalizing on their interest in funding a border wall to raise millions of dollars, under the false pretense that all of that money would be spent on construction," Acting Manhattan US Attorney Audrey Strauss said in a statement. "While repeatedly assuring donors that Brian Kolfage, the founder and public face of We Build the Wall, would not be paid a cent, the defendants secretly schemed to pass hundreds of thousands of dollars to Kolfage, which he used to fund his lavish lifestyle." -CNN

Quick, your former staff Steve Bannon was just arrested for fraud in association with building your wall. What's your response?:
A.  This is another witch hunt, like with Paul Manafort.
B.  Issue a pardon because Bill Barr told you that you could.
C.  Blame Obama for spying on Steve Bannon.
D.  Have Kayleigh send out a press release denying that you
      knew him.
E.  Suggest he is your next American hero for your sculpture garden.
F.  Person, woman, man, camera, TV. (Oops, wrong answer.)

TRUMP'S NATIONAL PARK: AMERICAN HEROES STATUE

The St. Louis Karen and Kevin who pointed guns at peaceful protesters.

ALLEGED PEDO PIMP & TRUMP'S FAVORITE DEAD ATTORNEY, ROY COHN

ALL CONFEDERATE WAR GENERALS

DEAD NARCOTICS ADDICT & SUPER RAGEALHOLIC, RUSH LIMBAUGH

ROY COHN WANNABE, ROGER STONE

PUTIN'S ERRAND BOY, MICHAEL FLYNN

UKRAINE'S WHEELER DEALER AND OSTRICH JACKET MODEL, 
PAUL MANAFORT

DOGE SS neo-fascist & Ketamine-fueled capitalist, Elonia

One-eyed apocalyptic white supremist, Stuart Rhodes

BAD COVID-19 ADVICE

Reopening during the peak of COVID is good for the economy.

Hoarding toilet paper will assuage your COVID anxiety.

'God is greater than COVID-19.' (Unfortunately people aren't.)

When injecting disinfectant and basking in ultraviolet light won't do.

Listening to idiots who failed all of their science classes.

Sorry, no, but it will help quarantine be more enjoyable.

We don't need no stinking masks when we have love.

PROTEST THE CURRENT ADMINISTRATION'S UNLAWFUL BEHAVIOR!