To Those with No Romance on Valentine's Day

Despair not, my sisters and brothers
Pining for love's tender romantic embrace.
For on this day dedicated to toujours l'amour,
Look to those who love unconditionally.

How often we overlook
The supportive caller, the sympathetic listener,
Being graced with laughter and frivolity,
By ones who carefully tend to us.

Touched by their warmth of acceptance,
Our ties grow stronger and deeper.
True romance it might not be,
Yet it satiates our souls completely.

Today on Valentine's Day,
I will recognize my non-romantic relationships,
By showering those who love me
With the affection they richly deserve.

Contrition as a Precursor to Letting Go

It's a New Year with a promise for new attitudes; a time for out with the old and in with the new. Shiny, new, and exuberant beats forlorn, weary, and dull anytime. Getting to the new with such enthusiastic hope requires a journey of a thousand obstacles. Easily writing down those New Year's resolutions is empowering until action is required. Those pesky obstacles unexpectedly rear their ugly heads summoning us to rethink change as desirous.

What really stands between you and what you want? Simple, all the reasons you can't have what you want. Reasons equate with excuses interpreted as rationalizations, leading to a suspension of disbelief. So, is it the emotional attachment to being vindicated or the thrill of high drama superseding avoidance of our real problems that justify not changing? Secondary gain is always suspect but not usually acknowledged. Overcoming inertia requires an act of movement. A friend of mine calls it, "moving your chi".

But how does one move one's chi when one is stuck? By letting go. How does one let go? My favorite way is do say the time worn act of contrition. Yes it sounds so parochial, but by letting go of what you think you contributed to what presently is haunting your life builds momentum for having the space to change.

"Contrition or contriteness (from the Latin contritus 'ground to pieces', i.e. crushed by guilt) is sincere and complete remorse for sins  (Sorry, I think the word 'sin' is laden with shame-based interpretations. I prefer  to substitute behavior or words.) one has committed. The remorseful person is said to be contrite. Etymologically it implies a breaking of something that has become hardened."   -Wikipedia

Don't we all armor up when we are 'ground to pieces' by ill thought out words or offensive behavior? Isn't our knee jerk reaction to become defensive? Whether it is by our hand or by someone else, seeing your part in the process, being contrite, doing penance, and making restitution enables what has become hardened to soften.

What is penance?  "The word penance derives from Old French and Latin poenitentia, both of which derive from the same root meaning repentance, the desire to be forgiven (in English see contrition). Penance and repentance, similar in their derivation and original sense, have come to symbolize conflicting views of the essence of repentance, arising from the controversy as to the respective merits of 'faith' and 'good works'." -Wikipedia

Penance is absolution made manifest. It is declaring your part in whatever drove the offense and feeling heartily sorry-not just sorry because you got caught. You feel what it's done to you and/or whomever you hurt. Actively engaging in this process begins to move chi. But it's not enough to feel sorrow or regret, one has to put energy into loosening up its hold by making amends or restitution. Saying one is sorry is easy but to actually convince oneself or others that the act will not be repeated takes commitment. Breaking the repetition compulsion means demonstrating you get what drove the behavior, admitting the mistake, seeking forgiveness, preventing recurrence, and symbolically doing an act which clearly indicates you want to let it all go.

Here's to all committed to making a fresh start for 2015.

Second Saturn Blues (58 to 60 years of age)

Second Saturns are tough.

Anything unresolved from the first Saturn

Erupts with pyroclastic force.

Sometimes ironic, mostly infuriating,

Second Saturn's presence is a harsh taskmaster.

Whether fleeting or chronic,

Intense issues unsettled increase

Forcing flight or fight reactivity.

Unrelenting unpredictable internalized emotion

Humbles even the most rationally arrogant.

The cosmic mirror awakens

Thoughts of inching closer to old age.

Denial melts like butter

Dripping with realizations of time

Speeding toward an unknown finale.

Conflicted hard change becomes a best friend

Teaching lessons of bravery.

The biggest question to answer is,

Who and what do I want to take with me into old age?

Frequently the choice is also delegated by the universe.

Loss figures predominantly in a Second Saturn

As a reminder of the impermanence of reality.

Cozy comfortable living is a memory.

Whether it is death, separation, health, change, or defeat,

Say hello to the process of grief.

Is there a silver lining to a Second Saturn?

Are lessons learned like bridges burned?

Will Saturn's spiritual awakening scorch or heal?

The answers come with deep questioning

Of the soul's purposefulness and future intent.

Bearing up under Saturn's grip

Requires courage, fortitude, resilience, and compassion.

Either armor up or soften up but choose wisely.

Pay close heed of your words and deeds,

Otherwise Saturn's true healing is circumvented.

A comforting shoulder and gentle discourse

Will alleviate the acerbity of Saturn's blows.

Accepting help, seeking solace, being contrite,

And asking for forgiveness, expedites the transformation

Needed to learn Saturn's stringent lessons.

This blog is dedicated to those who passed their second Saturn, those with Saturn in Sagittarius, and the one who made me his first Second Saturn casualty.

Christmas Without Christ

I am a Buddhist. For more than forty years I have not been a Christian, despite being raised in an orthodox Catholic parochial school system. Not many can say they have received as much Christian religious education (in addition to mass six days a week) as me. Years of instruction initially made me devout with a child-like acceptance of Church doctrine. But as I grew older and saw what I felt were aspects of this religion I did not believe, nor could I accept. Throughout my younger adult years my search to find a spiritual home led me to other more figurative Christian religions like Unity and the Church of Religious Science. Christ light, as I called them, was certainly more palatable but still I had difficulty accepting Jesus Christ as my personal savior. Then I began to read about Buddhism.

Through Buddhism I discovered a philosophy and way of being I could embrace. Though I do not consider myself to be a skilled practitioner, I do observe the teachings. The most difficult part of acknowledging and sharing my love of Buddhism is the reaction I get from people of other religions.

Today on Christmas day, this point is driven home all the more. My Christian friends are not at all happy with my Buddhist beliefs and constantly try to convince me to come back to Christ. I find their pleas incredibly disrespectful. Finally, after being badgered by one of my reborn Christian girlfriends about converting, I reminded her there is a constitutional right to freedom of religion. But to my Christian friends, it is about Christianity being the only religion and way into heaven.

The Catholic training I endured in my childhood also taught this. But the flaw I saw in this conflicted with the idea of loving your fellow humans only if you can convert them to Christianity. Of course, you show them charity, but they are nothing more than heathens. Sadly, this attitude perseveres.

This year I dated a pastor and a man who was a devout Christian. Both of them said I could never be happy unless I allowed Christ into my life. At one point, the pastor told me my natural intuition was really the devil whispering in my ear. I found this ironic. Isn't intolerance of any sort the antithesis of being a loving, spiritual being? I do not expect any of my Christian friends to understand or convert to Buddhism, yet they expect me to. When I am with my Christian friends I do not talk about Buddha unless asked. However, my friends feel no compunction about rambling incessantly about Christ wanting me to come back into the fold. What is wrong with this picture?

Religion has been used for centuries as a reason to treat women and children as property, start religious wars, and justify genocide. What I see very little of is the human aspect of religions supporting the higher spiritual values which support our humanity.







 

I Am Always There

I am your ace in the hole
the dependable standby.

I am your mirror
with an unseen reflection.

I am your pursuer
running away from myself.

I am your friend
more peripheral than visceral.

I am your confidante
unable to share feelings.

I am your lover
always last on the list.

I am your past
seeking resolution.

I am your present
struggling with grasping.

I am your karma
needing purification.

My Thanksgiving Prayer

I am grateful
In this present moment
To be with you, cherished friends and family
On this day of prosperity.

I am grateful
For all of our ancestors
Who bore burdens and strife
To bring us to this point in time.

I am grateful
For the great abundance and opportunity
Creating the freedom to actualize our dreams
And contribute to the welfare of humanity.

I am grateful
For simple pleasures,
Serendipity, the kind gesture,
And the touch of grace which whispers joy.

I am grateful
For the comforting call,
The supportive word, the reassuring hug and
Knowing you will always be there.

I am grateful
For saying hello, knowing how to say good bye
Embracing change with courage and
Being inspired by creativity and clarity.

I am grateful
For all those we love,
All those who love us,
And all those who are still undecided.

I am grateful
For all that I am, all that I have
All that I give, and all that I receive.

Choosing to be Free

This morning while doing spiritual readings, I ran across this from "The Daily Word":

'Today, I choose to be free.

 

Freedom is a state of being beyond external circumstances. I can experience freedom regardless of what I see outside myself. I choose to be positive in my thoughts and feelings, attitudes and perceptions. By choosing to focus on the good, I am free.

I release negative thoughts and emotions, and feel lighter in mind, body, and soul. I nurture my mind with ideas of health and well-being and experience the freedom of a balanced and productive life. My outlook is positive—I expect only good.

Freedom is a choice, a state of mind. By holding positive thoughts and feelings, I experience life to the fullest. Today I choose to be optimistic. Today I choose my freedom.'

How often have I been so mired in my own dramas and internalizing that I have lost track of my freedom of choice? That is the freedom to not engage, or forego, or to distract, to make friends with, and actively and positively let go, etc. How do I incarcerate myself with my own imprisoning thoughts? Time to dream, think big, focus on graces I receive.