The Messy Business of Death

The Light Shall Overcome The Night

When you find yourself alone in the shadows
Void of peace and tricked by deceit,
Know that light flushes out the dark
And there's a light deep within your heart

If you find yourself in a crowd blind of clear sights,
Remove yourself from their company, and find some light

It will always be darkest before dawn
So prepare yourself a light
Because darkness will surely come

For shadow shrouds over everyone and everything,
Never are you alone when the night comes to cling

We all share the same sun and the same moon
But with life comes fire, let us use it to banish the present gloom

Together, when we all contribute to the fire
We can create warmth and huddle around the campfire
Until this present darkness expires

Some may be lost within the pitch black, and absent day
Some may even run wild in search of prey 

But know this..
Within your heart can start a spark,
The smallest fire can give birth to soaring flames
So bright you might even forget the darkness even came

The light shall overcome the night, breaching through the skies
So hold fast to your light, whatever it may be
A candle, a torch, a lantern, or even the full moon shining across the seas -Justin Worthy

SAVVY SORCERESS SEEKING WISE WIZARD

Sometimes witches just wanna have fun. 

'Savvy sorceress is seeking to expand her quest to find a wise wizard for an enchanting association. To be clear, I am not looking for warlocks with benefits as I have medical, dental, and other pension perks from my own exciting career manufacturing broomsticks. Additionally, I am not into FBs (fortuneteller buddies) due to their limited appeal. However, an astute conjurer of words might be able to whisk me away from my coven if he bewitches me with sagacious spells, charms me with clever hexes, and demonstrates witty sophic soothsaying. 

This sibyl's diversity of interests includes advising Macbeth, brewing potions, cauldron cooking, and hanging out at the lair. My prognostications foresee a likely bond with an available alchemist who rather enjoys the company of a quirky crone with a wicked sense of humor and a penchant for the innovative. Would be thrilled to experience magical magnetism with the right oracle. 

BTW: those already hypnotized by marriage, mesmerized by other enchantresses, or are besieged by misfortune tellers would be better off following the yellow brick road."

Death of a Brewery

A few years ago I knew a competent PhD biochemist, who in a fit of mid-life pique, decided to pursue his dream of owning a brewery after being laid off from his pharmaceutical job. His unfulfilling marriage to a successful physician, the pressure of raising two trophy sons, and a bruising lay off from a prestigious job, seemed to propel his unrealistic dream of making it big as the brewmeister of a scientifically produced exceptionally crafted beer. Defying all logic and business acumen, he proceeded backed primarily by his wife's and other investor's money. Indeed, initially things seemed to be heading in a positive direction-he took top prizes at the State Fair for his micro-brewed beer. That is, until his marriage crashed, the economy tanked, and the competition of over 250 other equally impressive microbreweries in the county overwhelmed his crafted cathexis. His brewery was outgunned by his competitors: under capitalized, poorly marketed, and naively managed, he continued to throw good money after bad attempting to sustain his burgeoning business nightmare.

The problem with most intelligent scientists is they are impeccably trained to persevere in spite of obstacles or until the research funding runs out. Their hubris does not permit them the insight that, because they are successful in one area in life, they might not be successful when they are out of their league in another area. Probably the biggest Achilles heel of any scientist is a reluctance to foresee failure. The Scientist Brewmeister knew he was not all that great when it came to business but continued to raise funds from investors, even when all signs were indicating his brewery was as solvent as the S.S Titanic. As a member of MENSA, he was too smart to fail.

Coming from a more humble background, I listened to the Scientist Brewmeister's stories of endlessly seeking investors and knew his desire for beer-driven success and prestige was a pointless exercise in futility. Not being a businesswoman, I could see he was way over his head. He was a small fish in a big pond of more moneyed, established, and popular craft beer entrepreneurs. The sign on the wall was not big enough for him to walk away before disaster struck. We drifted apart but I wondered how long it would take before his world would come crashing down.

This week I read an article in a local paper how the Scientist Brewmeister put his brewery up for sale last year. He had hoped a larger craft beer company would financially absorb him but continue to allow him keep his craft brands. That did not happen. To prevent foreclosure he sold off 90% of his brewery, kept his brands, and is now trying to keep alive producing beer for his small biergarten in an industrial park way off the beaten path. One does not need to be a psychic to know this a last ditch attempt to stave off the inevitable. Going from scientist to beermaster/bartender in a biergarten has got to be a stinging consequence of his poor business acumen.

The Scientist Brewmeister is now close to sixty. Divorced from his largest most pissed off investor, financing two kids in college, and facing the demise of the last of his dream, his world has collapsed. This is not the happily ever after story he envisioned. He admitted his choices were to go back to the pharm industry or be a beer consultant. Re-entering the traditional marketplace after being away from academia and the pharmaceutical industry for more than a decade he will discover the true cost of his mid-life crisis. Sixty years of age is ancient in a data-driven, publish or perish world. A highly competitive marketplace awaits the advanced degreed in this millennial world. 

Underneath the hard crustiness of most emotionally detached scientists, there lurks a great deal of insecurity covered up by arrogance and delusions of intellectual invincibility. The Scientist Brewmeister is a lesson in how pride goeth before the fall and how a high IQ does not guarantee success. 

Because of my background in vocational consulting, I knew his mid-life fantasy, financed by his ex-wife, would likely end up in ruin. It is well known in vocational counseling that starting a business is the least successful vocational option once someone loses a job because of it having the highest percentage of failure. Frequently people who take this option do not have the entrepreneurial verve to make it work and usually won't listen to reason. It is a sad footnote for me that there was nothing I could have said or done to have prevented his fall. I wrote him to tell him how sorry I was that he lost so much. No reply is expected. 

A Dissertation on Sorrow for the Day of the Dead

sor·row

noun

1. 1.

   a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others.

“I want to weep, she thought. I want to be comforted. I’m so tired of being strong. I want to be foolish and frightened for once. Just for a small while, that’s all …a day … an hour ...

...One day, she promised herself as she lay abed, one day she would allow herself to be less than strong.
But not today. It could not be today.” 
― George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings

Every heart has its secret sorrows which the world knows not, and oftentimes we call a man cold, when he is only sad.

HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW, Hyperion

“It's so curious: one can resist tears and 'behave' very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer... and everything collapses. ” 

― Colette

“So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.” 
― E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly

IN MEMORY OF ALL THOSE WHO HAVE PASSED AND ESPECIALLY TO THE FAMILY AND FRIENDS COPING WITH LOSS FROM SENSELESS VIOLENCE.

Can people with HIV be 'legally' quarantined?

Unbelievably, this was a question raised this week by Dr. Betty Price, an anesthesiologist representative from Georgia and wife of ousted ex-HHSA Cabinet Secretary Tom Price. "It just seems to me it's almost frightening the number of people who are living that are potentially carriers -- well, they are carriers -- but, potential to spread," Betty Price said. "Whereas, in the past, they died more readily, and then at that point, they are not posing a risk. So, we've got a huge population posing a risk if they're not in treatment."

Too bad we cannot quarantine stupidity, especially in so-called educated physicians. Once again we see the stigma of what is still considered a 'gay' disease being treated as rationale for internment camps. What's next, hiring a Dr. Mengele-like medical director to oversee their care?  Why not just put them in ovens and gas them-wouldn't that be cheaper?

I am surprised Trump didn't nominate her instead of her husband to oversee Health and Human Services. They seem to be on the same wavelength with their Nazi-like solutions for all of the ills the 1% would rather not have to fund. It is ironic that Dr. Price should bring up fears of the spread of HIV/AIDS. Trump is well-known for his long-time association with Roy Cohn, the McCarthy-era attorney who ended up denying he was gay and died of AIDS.

It is estimated that 1.1 million people in the US have HIV. They got it from having sex. You know, the basic human activity we all are biologically wired to engage in. As long as people have sex, they will pass bacteria and viruses to one another through their bodily fluids. Bacteria and viruses are not selective about targeting their vessel-they infect every race, creed, and gender. If you have sex you are at risk for contracting sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) like HPV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, etc. It sounds as if Price may have flunked out of her infectious disease rotation to not know the extent of STDs plaguing the US. Why should we just stop at incarcerating HIV patients when gonorrhea is quickly becoming untreatable with antibiotics?

Sexually transmitted diseases do not care if you are white, rich, privileged, heterosexual, or famous, Dr. Price. Thinking these factors will protect you and the rest of your cronies from infection is sincerely deluded. Thinking a concentration camp quarantine will protect the population from HIV defies sound Public Health practices. How do I know? I work in Public Health. What is the best way to protect oneself from the scourge of any infectious disease? Get educated, vaccinated, seek treatment if infected, and follow the treatment plan.

Your homophobic slip is showing, Dr. Price. Best you stay out of this fray and stick to what you know best: wasting our time legislating archaic ideas that have no basis in reality.

The Death of a Beloved Friend

Three weeks ago my dearest friend dropped dead in a grocery store. There was no warning, no expectation that this would happen, and no intuitive foresight of an impending traumatic shock. In an instant I was thunderstruck by ineffable grief. This was no ordinary death nor was my friend an ordinary person. She was an extraordinary, magnificent woman who was more than a sister to me than my own blood sisters. The inexplicable stunning demise of one who was my fiercest supporter and confidante has left me paralyzed with anguish. My world is now filled by sorrowful agony as I mourn the loss of a woman who contributed greatly to making my life a better, more joyful, and loving place.

Our society barely recognizes the loss of close family let alone those who are our spiritual and karmic family. While people may impart their perfunctory expressions of sympathy, few know how to communicate accurate empathy. Only those of us who were closest to my friend know the vacuous chasm her death has created. We know we won't be getting over this in a few weeks, a few months, or even a year. Hard grief requires a long period of reflection, assimilation of memories, resolution of the good and bad times, and knowing we will never get over it but may at some point get used to it. Until that day, I have accepted my life will be shaped one day at a time in bereavement.

Everyone grieves differently. Some are sad, some are mad, some go crazy, and some die of a broken heart. I am reminded that when some animals lose their babies, they will carry their dead babies around for a period of time lovingly stroking them as they mourn. Most of us endure our lamentation silently and in private. The world we live in hardly acknowledges the reality of death let alone wants to discuss how pained we are at our dearly departed's passing. Quickly we encounter the covert and/or overt signals, usually delivered with honed etiquette, to cease the disturbing conversations when mentioning a grievous loss in public. This isolates us further.

Every morning since my friends shocking departure, I wake up crying. What makes this hard is that I am more of a thinking woman; this is not my usual way of coping with loss. I have no control over my sunrise melancholia, it just happens. Grieving does not give one the option when it strikes. Though my day gets less sad as I move forward distracted by my job, underneath my outward competency there lurks a prevailing despondency. These days seem surreal-like I am watching a picture of myself acting normal even though I am shattered.

Because my friend's death was sudden, she was taken by the medical examiner and her tissues donated per her request. I never got to see her again. This takes on an eerie quality that maybe she really isn't gone, though I know intellectually this is untrue. In honor of her memory, I set up a descanso, a shrine to her in my living room. Her picture graces my sideboard with tokens of things she owned: a statue of St. Francis, a crystal ball, a beautiful necklace, and a exotic Mexican beaded snake I had given her. Daily I light a candle for her so she knows what a light she was in this world. Sometimes I talk to her and tell her how much I miss her. Because of her Buddhist bent, I am also reading 'The Tibetan Book of the Dead' for her, as well as daily reciting the Phowa. These rituals comfort me during a time when I feel abandoned by her death.

Farewell my loving friend. You were a great source of happiness and joy in my life. Know I will never forget you.

The Linguist's Guide to Covfefe

Possible definitions of covfefe:

Covfefe:  pejorative presidential slang for intelligent wordsmith fu**#rs.

Covfefe: confused, as in demonstrating the inability to spell properly.

Covfefe: to huddle in amazement at the decline of proper grammar.

Covfefe: a specific form of aphasia indicating cerebral damage to the Broca area of the brain.

Covfefe: a major block in the 5th and 6th chakras.

Covfefe: a neologism expressed in an inexplicable message.

Covfefe: another gaffe Sean Spicer has to explain.

Covfefe: a joke lost on its obtunded subject.

Covfefe: a party celebrating the ability to irritate the snot out of the head of state.

Covfefe: a contrived tweet written by witless, angry, and sleepless egomaniac.

Covfefe: psychobabble for someone losing control.

Covfefe: dysgraphia mainly caused by small hands and an even smaller mind.

SCIENCE VS TRUMP: THE MARCH FOR SCIENCE

TRUMP + RUSSIA= OUR NEW BFFs

Let's review the cast of Trump's purported Russia-loving characters:

-Jeff Sessions, Attorney General. Met with the Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak twice in September before the election in his Senate office digs. Oops, he kind of forgot to tell Congress about this during his confirmation hearings, when mounting concern over the Democratic Party hacking by Russia was raised. Being a good ole Alabama boy, Mr. Sessions was just offering tea, sympathy, and kielbasa to Sergey, his favorite foreign sausage jockey.

-Rex Tillerson, Secretary of State. As a top executive from Exxon oil, Mr. Tillerson won confirmation even though he had no foreign policy experience and had not personally met Trump until after he was floated as a contender for Secretary of State. Mr. Tillerson has close personal ties to Putin and is a strong supporter of lifting sanctions against Russia. No doubt being a bum driller has its benefits.

-Paul Manafort, ousted Trump Campaign Chairman. Mr. Manafort is well-known to many of the world's dictators as their Washington lobbyist. His alleged questionable frequent contacts with pro-Russia officials (though he claims they were Ukrainian) landed him on every US Intelligence Agency's top ten list of 'bad comrades' to investigate. Sadly, this embarrassing PR 'distraction' became public, causing him to resign as Trump's right-hand man. Too bad the ring raider of Russia blew it.

-Michael Flynn, former National Security Advisor. A retired Lieutenant Army General, Mr. Flynn has the distinction of having the shortest reign as NSA Director in history. His 24 day tenure ended when it was discovered, like Mr. Sessions, Mr. Flynn 'mislead' important people who should have known better about his conversations with Russia before the election. This back door bandit should have been more careful about his loose lips.

-Carter Page, on leave Foreign Policy Advisor. Mr. Page issued denials to Senator Harry Reid that he was a liaison between Russia officials and the Trump administration. The Trump administration pretends they don't know who he is. Sean Spicer, Melissa McCarthy's twin, announced at a press conference on January 11, 2017, "Carter Page is an individual whom the President-elect does not know and was put on notice months ago by the campaign.” Say, what? Could there be more to this pillow biter's pillow talk?

-Michael Cohen, Trump's personal Attorney. A leaked British spy dossier alleges Counselor Cohen made repeated contacts between Trump associates and the Russians during a visit to Prague. Attorney-client privilege may prevent us from fully knowing how friendly Mr. Cohen's fudge-packing political maneuvers went but the fallout from his farts is distinctly odorous.

-Donald Trump, Jr., trophy first son. Thank God Trump has divested his assets or his son's alleged meeting in Paris three weeks before the election, with a pro-Russian group who promotes Kremlin policy, could be construed as suspicious. Let us remember, Junior's light in the loafer's business deals attracts many misunderstood wealthy oligarchs. Prepare for the White House's explanation to be spun as a fairy tale. 

-Jared Kushner, son-in-law/Senior Trump Advisor. Continuing with the all in the family theme, Mr. Kushner also met with Ambassador Sergey Kislyak. Ivanka's passion fruit, along with former NSA Director, Mike 'here today, gone tomorrow' Flynn, supposedly engaged in a political menage a trois at Trump Tower in December with shirt lifter Sergey. Of course, it was all in the spirit of good, legitimate power top politics.

On January 16th, President Trump stated, “I have nothing to do with Russia. To the best of my knowledge, no person that I deal with does". 

Mr. Trump, are you saying this is all an incredible coincidence? 

MILO'S PEDOPHILIA PROBLEM

Poor Milo Yiannopoulos. As Breitbart’s flamboyant star of conservative hate-spewing discourse, he is now begging for mercy after his provocative interview endorsing illegal sexual activities with minors became widely publicized. Unlike Jerry Sandusky who remains in denial over his abuses, Milo’s defense was that some 13 year olds are more sexually mature, making it consensual versus illegal. His justification came from his own life when he boasted how a priest taught him to perform oral sex well when he was 14 years old. Among his other despicable beliefs is that relationships between adult men and teenage boys can be positive experiences. A particularly disturbing comment was, "Pedophilia is not a sexual attraction to somebody 13 years old who is sexually mature. Pedophilia is attraction to children who have not reached puberty." I wonder what Milo's definitions of puberty and sexual maturity are. 

Let me enlighten him. From the booklet, "When Males Have Been Sexually Abused As Children":
'What is sexual abuse? Sexual abuse is an abuse of power. If someone older, stronger or more experienced coerced you into sexual activity when you were a child or an adolescent, then you were sexually abused. The abuser may have won your trust, and then violated it by abusing you. He or she may have compounded the abuse by forcing you to keep it secret and by making you feel responsible. Sexual abuse doesn’t refer only to sexual touching. If you were forced as a child to watch sexual activity or pornography, this is a form of sexual abuse. If an adult continually invaded your privacy – by watching you shower, or making sexualized comments about your body, this is another form of sexual abuse."

The response to his pederast rhetoric was swift. He was forced out of Breitbart (though his spin is that he resigned), he lost his book deal with Simon and Schuster, and forevermore his name will be linked with his sexual infatuation with boys. But don't count Milo out yet. He is already spinning he is the victim and that his sexual victimization made him utter 'a poor choice of words'. Being a pariah is not as exciting as being a Trump mini me and this will cost him big. My guess is he will hire a crisis team, go into recovery as a sexual abuse victim, have a spiritual awakening renouncing his sincerely deluded predatory inclinations, and desist espousing man boy love as healthy. 

One can't help but wonder from the remarks he's made if this is just the tip of the iceberg. We see this with proponents of pederasty-rarely do they talk but not act. Now that the cat is out of the bag, I suspect his kittens may come forward. Stay tuned.

Do All Power-Crazed Leaders Think Similarly?

"Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it" - Adolf Hitler

“Politics is when you say you are going to do one thing while intending to do another. Then you do neither what you said nor what you intended.” - Saddam Hussein

“I know that fewer people are won over by the written word than by the spoken word and that every great movement on this earth owes its growth to great speakers and not to great writers.”― Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf

“Ideas are more powerful than guns. We would not let our enemies have guns, why should we let them have ideas.” – Josef Stalin

"I am the object of criticism around the world. But I think that since I am being discussed, then I am on the right track." - Kim Jong-Il

“The American president increasingly used his influence to create conflicts, intensify existing conflicts, and, above all, to keep conflicts from being resolved peacefully. For years this man looked for a dispute anywhere in the world, but preferably in Europe, that he could use to create political entanglements with American economic obligations to one of the contending sides, which would then steadily involve America in the conflict and thus divert attention from his own confused domestic economic policies.”― Adolf Hitler

A Traumatic Diagnosis Called Perpetual Trump Stress Disorder

"Qin Shi Huang

Reign: 247-210 B.C.

Qin, also called Qin Shihuangdi, also called Qin Shihuangdi, united China in 221 B.C. 
and ruled as the first emperor 
of the Qin dynasty. He was known to order 
the killing of scholars whose ideas he disagreed
 with and the burning of "critical" books. During
his reign, he ordered the construction of a great wall."  -Brittanica

Sound familiar? These are incredibly unsettled times. Those of us shocked and appalled by our President's undignified speech, intimidating manner, and unmitigated disdain for anything beyond his seemingly ADD fixations (ie, the size of his crowds, how he would have won the popular vote, & how adored he is). Other than the president for the people, he is the avaricious monarch for those with the requisite fortune to secure a plum presidential appointment. Though I thought Donald Rumsfeld, Carl Rove, and the Bush thugs were ghastly, this new Trump gaggle of clueless millionaires and billionaires are ladróns tortuoso. Every day I hold my breath waiting for his administration to enact another frightening edict.

Watching the past few weeks of this administration's machinations has awakened fairy tale memories from childhood about tyrant kings, machiavellian court politicos, and ruthless royalty, all scurrying for the king's favor as they amass more power. As scary as they were, there was always a happily ever after ending. No such luck with this reality. My lugubrious mood has me seeking solace from self-help books offering coping mechanisms for my dour adjustment disorder. I decided to research my symptoms hoping there might be an appropriate anti-psychotic that might ease my free floating anxiety.

The bible of mental health diagnoses is called the DSM-5. Though there is no diagnosis called Perpetual Trump Stress Disorder, I would like to propose one. Like PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) the definition from the National Institute of Mental Health is quite similar: "PTSD is a disorder that develops in some people who have experienced a shocking, scary, or dangerous event." Isn't that what daily life has been like since the
Trump minions have lorded over us with their nonstop assault on our intellect and humanity?  

The National Institute of Mental Health did have some other suggestions:

'Some resilience factors that may reduce the risk of PTSD include:

• Seeking out support from other people, such as friends and family
• Finding a support group after a traumatic event
• Learning to feel good about one’s own actions in the face of danger
• Having a positive coping strategy, or a way of getting through the bad event and learning from it
• Being able to act and respond effectively despite feeling fear.'

• Together we can overcome.
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