Wednesday, November 13, 2024

More Appropriate Picks for Trump's Cabinet


Secretary of Defense, Brigadier General Jack Ripper. Devout anti-Communist, pro-male bodily fluids, & fearless nuclear bomb enthusiast.  
Secretary of Labor, Colonel Saito. Japanese labor camp efficiency expert, motivational bridge builder, & able to deliver goals by using torture.
Secretary of Agriculture, Dr. Hannibal Lector. Trump favorite for his ability to digest his enemies, has experience with fava beans & chianti, & enjoys a cunning ability to escape jail.
Secretary of Commerce, Alfonse Capone. Another Trump favorite for his dead-on capitalistic business acumen, his expertise in tax evasion, & is a fierce gun supporter.  
Treasury Secretary, Ebenezer Scrooge. Penurious unrepentant loan shark, willing to work holidays, & devoted fiscal conservative.


Director of HHSA: Dr. Frankenstein. Misunderstood pioneer of organ transplants, supporter of green electricity, & an environmentally friendly cadaver recycler. 








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