A Dissertation on Sorrow for the Day of the Dead

sor·row

noun

1. 1.

   a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others.

“I want to weep, she thought. I want to be comforted. I’m so tired of being strong. I want to be foolish and frightened for once. Just for a small while, that’s all …a day … an hour ...

...One day, she promised herself as she lay abed, one day she would allow herself to be less than strong.
But not today. It could not be today.” 
― George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings

Every heart has its secret sorrows which the world knows not, and oftentimes we call a man cold, when he is only sad.

HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW, Hyperion

“It's so curious: one can resist tears and 'behave' very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer... and everything collapses. ” 

― Colette

“So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.” 
― E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly

IN MEMORY OF ALL THOSE WHO HAVE PASSED AND ESPECIALLY TO THE FAMILY AND FRIENDS COPING WITH LOSS FROM SENSELESS VIOLENCE.

Can people with HIV be 'legally' quarantined?

Unbelievably, this was a question raised this week by Dr. Betty Price, an anesthesiologist representative from Georgia and wife of ousted ex-HHSA Cabinet Secretary Tom Price. "It just seems to me it's almost frightening the number of people who are living that are potentially carriers -- well, they are carriers -- but, potential to spread," Betty Price said. "Whereas, in the past, they died more readily, and then at that point, they are not posing a risk. So, we've got a huge population posing a risk if they're not in treatment."

Too bad we cannot quarantine stupidity, especially in so-called educated physicians. Once again we see the stigma of what is still considered a 'gay' disease being treated as rationale for internment camps. What's next, hiring a Dr. Mengele-like medical director to oversee their care?  Why not just put them in ovens and gas them-wouldn't that be cheaper?

I am surprised Trump didn't nominate her instead of her husband to oversee Health and Human Services. They seem to be on the same wavelength with their Nazi-like solutions for all of the ills the 1% would rather not have to fund. It is ironic that Dr. Price should bring up fears of the spread of HIV/AIDS. Trump is well-known for his long-time association with Roy Cohn, the McCarthy-era attorney who ended up denying he was gay and died of AIDS.

It is estimated that 1.1 million people in the US have HIV. They got it from having sex. You know, the basic human activity we all are biologically wired to engage in. As long as people have sex, they will pass bacteria and viruses to one another through their bodily fluids. Bacteria and viruses are not selective about targeting their vessel-they infect every race, creed, and gender. If you have sex you are at risk for contracting sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) like HPV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, etc. It sounds as if Price may have flunked out of her infectious disease rotation to not know the extent of STDs plaguing the US. Why should we just stop at incarcerating HIV patients when gonorrhea is quickly becoming untreatable with antibiotics?

Sexually transmitted diseases do not care if you are white, rich, privileged, heterosexual, or famous, Dr. Price. Thinking these factors will protect you and the rest of your cronies from infection is sincerely deluded. Thinking a concentration camp quarantine will protect the population from HIV defies sound Public Health practices. How do I know? I work in Public Health. What is the best way to protect oneself from the scourge of any infectious disease? Get educated, vaccinated, seek treatment if infected, and follow the treatment plan.

Your homophobic slip is showing, Dr. Price. Best you stay out of this fray and stick to what you know best: wasting our time legislating archaic ideas that have no basis in reality.

The Death of a Beloved Friend

Three weeks ago my dearest friend dropped dead in a grocery store. There was no warning, no expectation that this would happen, and no intuitive foresight of an impending traumatic shock. In an instant I was thunderstruck by ineffable grief. This was no ordinary death nor was my friend an ordinary person. She was an extraordinary, magnificent woman who was more than a sister to me than my own blood sisters. The inexplicable stunning demise of one who was my fiercest supporter and confidante has left me paralyzed with anguish. My world is now filled by sorrowful agony as I mourn the loss of a woman who contributed greatly to making my life a better, more joyful, and loving place.

Our society barely recognizes the loss of close family let alone those who are our spiritual and karmic family. While people may impart their perfunctory expressions of sympathy, few know how to communicate accurate empathy. Only those of us who were closest to my friend know the vacuous chasm her death has created. We know we won't be getting over this in a few weeks, a few months, or even a year. Hard grief requires a long period of reflection, assimilation of memories, resolution of the good and bad times, and knowing we will never get over it but may at some point get used to it. Until that day, I have accepted my life will be shaped one day at a time in bereavement.

Everyone grieves differently. Some are sad, some are mad, some go crazy, and some die of a broken heart. I am reminded that when some animals lose their babies, they will carry their dead babies around for a period of time lovingly stroking them as they mourn. Most of us endure our lamentation silently and in private. The world we live in hardly acknowledges the reality of death let alone wants to discuss how pained we are at our dearly departed's passing. Quickly we encounter the covert and/or overt signals, usually delivered with honed etiquette, to cease the disturbing conversations when mentioning a grievous loss in public. This isolates us further.

Every morning since my friends shocking departure, I wake up crying. What makes this hard is that I am more of a thinking woman; this is not my usual way of coping with loss. I have no control over my sunrise melancholia, it just happens. Grieving does not give one the option when it strikes. Though my day gets less sad as I move forward distracted by my job, underneath my outward competency there lurks a prevailing despondency. These days seem surreal-like I am watching a picture of myself acting normal even though I am shattered.

Because my friend's death was sudden, she was taken by the medical examiner and her tissues donated per her request. I never got to see her again. This takes on an eerie quality that maybe she really isn't gone, though I know intellectually this is untrue. In honor of her memory, I set up a descanso, a shrine to her in my living room. Her picture graces my sideboard with tokens of things she owned: a statue of St. Francis, a crystal ball, a beautiful necklace, and a exotic Mexican beaded snake I had given her. Daily I light a candle for her so she knows what a light she was in this world. Sometimes I talk to her and tell her how much I miss her. Because of her Buddhist bent, I am also reading 'The Tibetan Book of the Dead' for her, as well as daily reciting the Phowa. These rituals comfort me during a time when I feel abandoned by her death.

Farewell my loving friend. You were a great source of happiness and joy in my life. Know I will never forget you.

The Linguist's Guide to Covfefe

Possible definitions of covfefe:

Covfefe:  pejorative presidential slang for intelligent wordsmith fu**#rs.

Covfefe: confused, as in demonstrating the inability to spell properly.

Covfefe: to huddle in amazement at the decline of proper grammar.

Covfefe: a specific form of aphasia indicating cerebral damage to the Broca area of the brain.

Covfefe: a major block in the 5th and 6th chakras.

Covfefe: a neologism expressed in an inexplicable message.

Covfefe: another gaffe Sean Spicer has to explain.

Covfefe: a joke lost on its obtunded subject.

Covfefe: a party celebrating the ability to irritate the snot out of the head of state.

Covfefe: a contrived tweet written by witless, angry, and sleepless egomaniac.

Covfefe: psychobabble for someone losing control.

Covfefe: dysgraphia mainly caused by small hands and an even smaller mind.

SCIENCE VS TRUMP: THE MARCH FOR SCIENCE

TRUMP + RUSSIA= OUR NEW BFFs

Let's review the cast of Trump's purported Russia-loving characters:

-Jeff Sessions, Attorney General. Met with the Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak twice in September before the election in his Senate office digs. Oops, he kind of forgot to tell Congress about this during his confirmation hearings, when mounting concern over the Democratic Party hacking by Russia was raised. Being a good ole Alabama boy, Mr. Sessions was just offering tea, sympathy, and kielbasa to Sergey, his favorite foreign sausage jockey.

-Rex Tillerson, Secretary of State. As a top executive from Exxon oil, Mr. Tillerson won confirmation even though he had no foreign policy experience and had not personally met Trump until after he was floated as a contender for Secretary of State. Mr. Tillerson has close personal ties to Putin and is a strong supporter of lifting sanctions against Russia. No doubt being a bum driller has its benefits.

-Paul Manafort, ousted Trump Campaign Chairman. Mr. Manafort is well-known to many of the world's dictators as their Washington lobbyist. His alleged questionable frequent contacts with pro-Russia officials (though he claims they were Ukrainian) landed him on every US Intelligence Agency's top ten list of 'bad comrades' to investigate. Sadly, this embarrassing PR 'distraction' became public, causing him to resign as Trump's right-hand man. Too bad the ring raider of Russia blew it.

-Michael Flynn, former National Security Advisor. A retired Lieutenant Army General, Mr. Flynn has the distinction of having the shortest reign as NSA Director in history. His 24 day tenure ended when it was discovered, like Mr. Sessions, Mr. Flynn 'mislead' important people who should have known better about his conversations with Russia before the election. This back door bandit should have been more careful about his loose lips.

-Carter Page, on leave Foreign Policy Advisor. Mr. Page issued denials to Senator Harry Reid that he was a liaison between Russia officials and the Trump administration. The Trump administration pretends they don't know who he is. Sean Spicer, Melissa McCarthy's twin, announced at a press conference on January 11, 2017, "Carter Page is an individual whom the President-elect does not know and was put on notice months ago by the campaign.” Say, what? Could there be more to this pillow biter's pillow talk?

-Michael Cohen, Trump's personal Attorney. A leaked British spy dossier alleges Counselor Cohen made repeated contacts between Trump associates and the Russians during a visit to Prague. Attorney-client privilege may prevent us from fully knowing how friendly Mr. Cohen's fudge-packing political maneuvers went but the fallout from his farts is distinctly odorous.

-Donald Trump, Jr., trophy first son. Thank God Trump has divested his assets or his son's alleged meeting in Paris three weeks before the election, with a pro-Russian group who promotes Kremlin policy, could be construed as suspicious. Let us remember, Junior's light in the loafer's business deals attracts many misunderstood wealthy oligarchs. Prepare for the White House's explanation to be spun as a fairy tale. 

-Jared Kushner, son-in-law/Senior Trump Advisor. Continuing with the all in the family theme, Mr. Kushner also met with Ambassador Sergey Kislyak. Ivanka's passion fruit, along with former NSA Director, Mike 'here today, gone tomorrow' Flynn, supposedly engaged in a political menage a trois at Trump Tower in December with shirt lifter Sergey. Of course, it was all in the spirit of good, legitimate power top politics.

On January 16th, President Trump stated, “I have nothing to do with Russia. To the best of my knowledge, no person that I deal with does". 

Mr. Trump, are you saying this is all an incredible coincidence? 

MILO'S PEDOPHILIA PROBLEM

Poor Milo Yiannopoulos. As Breitbart’s flamboyant star of conservative hate-spewing discourse, he is now begging for mercy after his provocative interview endorsing illegal sexual activities with minors became widely publicized. Unlike Jerry Sandusky who remains in denial over his abuses, Milo’s defense was that some 13 year olds are more sexually mature, making it consensual versus illegal. His justification came from his own life when he boasted how a priest taught him to perform oral sex well when he was 14 years old. Among his other despicable beliefs is that relationships between adult men and teenage boys can be positive experiences. A particularly disturbing comment was, "Pedophilia is not a sexual attraction to somebody 13 years old who is sexually mature. Pedophilia is attraction to children who have not reached puberty." I wonder what Milo's definitions of puberty and sexual maturity are. 

Let me enlighten him. From the booklet, "When Males Have Been Sexually Abused As Children":
'What is sexual abuse? Sexual abuse is an abuse of power. If someone older, stronger or more experienced coerced you into sexual activity when you were a child or an adolescent, then you were sexually abused. The abuser may have won your trust, and then violated it by abusing you. He or she may have compounded the abuse by forcing you to keep it secret and by making you feel responsible. Sexual abuse doesn’t refer only to sexual touching. If you were forced as a child to watch sexual activity or pornography, this is a form of sexual abuse. If an adult continually invaded your privacy – by watching you shower, or making sexualized comments about your body, this is another form of sexual abuse."

The response to his pederast rhetoric was swift. He was forced out of Breitbart (though his spin is that he resigned), he lost his book deal with Simon and Schuster, and forevermore his name will be linked with his sexual infatuation with boys. But don't count Milo out yet. He is already spinning he is the victim and that his sexual victimization made him utter 'a poor choice of words'. Being a pariah is not as exciting as being a Trump mini me and this will cost him big. My guess is he will hire a crisis team, go into recovery as a sexual abuse victim, have a spiritual awakening renouncing his sincerely deluded predatory inclinations, and desist espousing man boy love as healthy. 

One can't help but wonder from the remarks he's made if this is just the tip of the iceberg. We see this with proponents of pederasty-rarely do they talk but not act. Now that the cat is out of the bag, I suspect his kittens may come forward. Stay tuned.