More Appropriate Picks for Trump's Cabinet

Secretary of Defense, Brigadier General Jack Ripper. Devout anti-Communist, pro-male bodily fluids, & fearless nuclear bomb enthusiast.  

Secretary of Labor, Colonel Saito. Japanese labor camp efficiency expert, motivational bridge builder, & able to deliver goals by using torture.

Secretary of Agriculture, Dr. Hannibal Lector. Trump favorite for his ability to digest his enemies, has experience with fava beans & chianti, & enjoys a cunning ability to escape jail.

Secretary of Commerce, Alfonse Capone. Another Trump favorite for his dead-on capitalistic business acumen, his expertise in tax evasion, & is a fierce gun supporter.  

Treasury Secretary, Ebenezer Scrooge. Penurious unrepentant loan shark, willing to work holidays, & devoted fiscal conservative.

Director of HHSA: Dr. Frankenstein. Misunderstood pioneer of organ transplants, supporter of green electricity, & an environmentally friendly cadaver recycler. 

MAGA'S NOSTAGIA FOR THE FIFTIES

 

THE GOP'S PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION

 

Trump, Sauron, and the Lord of the Rings Parallel

Like his hero Sauron, Trump is the all-seeing eye. He and Sauron have incessantly promoted their gigantic eye/I as an intimidating force majeure. Obsessed with their pseudo-omniscience, both are consumed by their eye's voracious grasping for the ring of power. Sauron uses his eye as a paranoid beacon to continuously scan for the one ring; Trump uses his I, I, I, I to seize the ring, sell NFTs, and avoid prison. Sauron lives in Modor in a bleak compound full of bizarre devotees. Trump lives in Mar a Lago with only his I-popping ego and an entourage of catatonic MAGA groupies. There is not enough power, money, or mirrors to fill their psychologically and morally bankrupt eye/I. Besides their depressing use of morbid decorating colors (think Melania's nightmare Christmas motif), they never fail to bring dark foreboding clouds wherever they go. 

Enter their minions: the Nazgul Ringwraiths (Gates, MTG, Hawley, Lee), headed by the Witch King of Angmar (Mike Johnson). Good at leading a bunch of power-hungry sycophants, the Witch King cannot be killed by any man, making him perfect for the job. When not sabotaging women's access to healthcare, the Nazgul can be seen actively whitewashing history, fearmongering about being replaced by minorities, and salivating over automatic weapons. 

Aiding them in their search for the ring of power is the corrupt white wizard Saruman (JD Vance). Saruman used to be an eyeliner-loving drag queen wannabe, but the allure of the ring transformed him into a humorless MAGA/Modor mannequin. As he hawks the Modor 2025 dogma, childless cat women everywhere worry about him grabbing them by the pussy. 

 Along with Saruman and the Nazgul are the MAGA Orcs. This Modor-loving crowd seek the ring of power to get approval from Sauron. Hyping their mega-white values, the Orcs focus on obtaining the ring for Sauron by eliminating anyone standing in their way, including their vice president. Evangelicalism is their Orc armor as they worship their one true god, Trump. They believe in the sanctity of guns, being anti-woke (aka being asleep), and engaging in insurrection. Supporting Sauron unconditionally, they even defend him when he vulgarly accuses rival women of giving blowjobs to get ahead. So much for Christian values. 

Gollum (Mitch McConnell) is another player stalking the ring. Gollum is just another Sauron Stockholm survivor, secretly plotting the ring for himself. For years Sauron tortured him until he became an even creepier brown-nosing weirdo, so there's no love loss there. Gollum survived by feigning loyalty, pretending to agree with Sauron's plan to be dictator of the world. His ardor for the ring is the only thing that matters to him other than a good bowel movement. No matter is how decrepit he gets from his pursuit of the ring, his desiccated body survives like an Uruk-hai on meth. 

Just when you think all is hopeless, Gandalf (Joe Biden) sends two hobbits, along with a fellowship of stalwart allies, on a mission to destroy the ring. When the group became separated by Orc warriors, the two hobbits persisted into the depths of Modor ultimately destroying the ring in Mt. Doom. Their triumph against all odds caused the climate to clear of perpetual darkness bringing hope to middle earth. 

What happened to the vanquished? The destruction of the ring led to Sauron being terminally poked in his I by the fellowship. His accomplice Saruman was banished to the twin towers, while the rest of Sauron's army died under the weight of Project 2025. The Witch King of Angmar was killed by a woman defending her right to have control over her body, frightening the other Ringwraiths into oblivion. Anyone left in the scourge that didn't die moved to Florida and Texas where they are still trying to resurrect the past. 

Kamala vs Donald: Their Focus

                     

   
 Wants to stop food price gouging.                   Keeps talking about Hannibal Lecter.

 Likes cats.                                                       Wants to grab you by your pussy.

 Prosecuted criminals.                                      Is a convicted felon.

 Is pro-women's issues.                                    Serial adulterer & porn star lover.

 Believes in democracy.                                   Believes in insurrection & dictators.

 Has strong public service.                               Is self-serving and self-absorbed.

 Focuses on issues.                                          Acts confused and frequently lies.

 Has integrity.                                                  Has a narcissistic personality.

Works for victims of crime.                             Whines a lot about being a victim.

She's younger, smarter, & talented.                 He's old, hateful, & acts demented.

Seeks to inspire and include.                           Seeks to grift & spread Project 2025.

 

 

 

    

            

JD VANCE: THE POSTER BOY FOR CHILDLESS CAT LADIES AND SOFA SEX

 

A warning to JD Vance: don't try to grab her by the pussy.

Another childless cat lady who rocks more than JD Vance.

It starts with a sofa and progresses to other furniture.

What Is Not Being Said About Trump's Assassination Attempt

 

Like Rasputin, Trump has an uncanny ability to survive what would kill most people. This enables his zealous followers to see him as endowed with indestructibility. As he evades the legal, moral, and ethical consequences for his actions, he becomes more dangerous. Listen to his language: he cannot speak without weaving his personal martyrdom into center stage. He spouts a litany of vitriol in every sound bite, rally, and interview. Too bad he's not Catholic; he could be the patron saint of unrelenting rage. 

I find it ironic that an anti-gun control president (who can't legally own a gun due to his felony), almost got killed by a 20-yr-old, registered Republican. When news came down about the assassination attempt, most people are not surprised that Trump has amassed a huge number of enemies all around the world (i.e., Iran, Syria, Gaza, Canada, Panama, Mexico) let alone within the federal government. Trump seems oblivious to the fact that millions of people view him as truly evil. Because he arouses a lethal kind of capitalism contempt, he fuels desperate people to do desperate acts. Think about that 20-yr-old outsmarting the Secret Service.

Surprised? This is what happens when extremism takes power. I was warned about extremism by the Eastern European community I was raised in. It begins with blame, fierce nationalism, and retribution and ends up with internment camps, deportment, and/or execution. 

People from Poland and Hungary have told me how the abatement of human rights happens slowly. The MAGA people don't seem to understand this established history or unwilling to confront their denial. As they seek to make America back into a white Christian nation, devoid of diversity and equality, they have wittingly resurrected Hitler's ideology. Sorry MAGA, the opposite of being 'woke' is being asleep and lacking insight. 

For years we have been waiting to see justice for all the politically dangerous and illegal things Trump has done. Frustrated by how he's been able to circumvent any legal consequences (especially for the insurrection), I understand why his assassination attempt happened. Trump and his MAGA followers espouse the elimination of basic rights for women/gays/and minorities, immigrants, foreigners, and anyone who is not a white Christian evangelical. No person is above the law seems like a joke.

Watching the GOP pander to the right-wing extremism promotes a deep-seated fear of the future. This is a scary time which leads people to take extreme action. People are so frightened by Trump's extremist agenda that they are willing to rise up and rebel. However, this also becomes fertile ground for counter extreme options. The left is not immune to violence. Though I do not condone violence, I am able to understand the desperation which drives people to commit suicidal destructive acts of violence. 

There can be no peace without justice.