Sex and the Sixties

Referring to my title, I am not talking about the 1960s here. I am citing my age. Sex in the sixties is not at all what I thought it would be; it is better than what I could have imagined. Since I missed sex in my fifties due to celibacy, now I am making up for lost time. I say this because laughingly, compared with my male counterparts, I've had sex on an average of only once a month this year.

What is different about sex in the sixties? Maybe those long years of no sex makes me appreciate the whole experience of being intimate with men again. I love the way the men I have been with smell, the way they kiss me, how they touch me, and having them feed my skin hunger. No longer do I feel awkward about my older body, telling men how to please me, and doing things that please them. The whole sexual experience feels incredible. I feel more sensuous and have more orgasms easily. Surprised? I am.

Frequently I hear men in their forties and fifties complain how their marriages fell apart because of the lack of intimacy. They describe their spouses as intelligent women overwhelmed by work and the demands of child rearing. Because these women have high levels of stress, they have told their husbands they are too tired for sex. No doubt they are. Women mostly take the brunt of the double whammy when it comes to raising children and having a career. No one is to blame for this but no one gets what they want either. It does make one evaluate how much having children is really worth it in the long run. I can hear the groans as I write this.

It is interesting to me that the majority of response I get from my ads are from men in their forties. Typically they are divorced, have grown children in their 20s, and have complained about the lack of sex in their lives. I am their Mrs. Robinson-like fantasy. Several of the men who have written to me say they long for sexual intimacy without the baggage of the routine; I represent the slice of life that reawakens their sexuality. They see seasoned women as liberated, not weighed down by the constraints of reality. There is a deep longing for an intimate connection denied to them for years. It would be tempting to think this was solely about sex but sex is only part of the equation.

But I am no Mrs. Robinson. My needs are not conspicuously met by indiscriminate sex with a younger men. These emails illustrate to me the divide between men and women which is driving up the divorce rate and dividing families. I do not condone adultery or other diversions which shatter family life. It does raise questions about the nuclear family and how much this outworn model is not in line with reality.

Sex in the sixties has its share of joy and challenges. When it comes together its great but getting there is another story. No matter what, I am in my sixties and am no spring chicken. I am competing against younger, more savvy women. Given what their 40 something current or former spouses say, not much will change. My focus remains on the seasoned 50s men who are more my speed.