Gosh darn, ya betcha, I had a heck of a time in Minnesota on my vacation. Almost 30 years ago I left Minnesota, yet when I return I fall back into the cadence of the language. Combined with the fact I spent the first few days with die hard Canadians, unconsciously I found myself picking up the "ehs" in their accent, making my California/Minnesota drawl sound almost indecipherable. When I left Minnesota decades ago, I never knew I sounded unusual until people in the western states where I worked kept asking me if I was Canadian. Even today in California, some natives ask me from what part of Canada I was raised. Go figure.
The first thing I noticed after not having been back "home" in five years is the difference in culture. By and large, many Californians are self-absorbed, individualistic, and autocratic. My adopted state thrives on innovation and rugged self-determination. This reinforces more selfish behaviors where the ego is king and competition is paramount. Conversely, Minnesotans are cooperative by nature-one survives the bitter inclement weather by forming close cooperative bonds. People actually greet one another, rarely miss an opportunity to talk to one another even in the most mundane of social situations, and express genuine interest when engaging you. It is a kinder, gentler society. Frequently while I was there, people offered me transportation, housing, meals, and hospitality without any forethought. They are quick to sincerely look you in the eye when delivering communication, touch you gently when making a point, and delight in laughing at their own quirky ways. This politeness is well known and termed, "Minnesota nice". Of course, there is also a certain degree of passive aggressiveness that goes along with this, but I won't go there.
Ethan and Joel Cohen, who were raised in a suburb of Minneapolis, captured this quirkiness in their movie, "Fargo", which is also now a TV series. Their portrayal of Minnesotans is somewhat more comical and jaded for my taste. What they fail to capture is the sense of integrity, honor, honesty, and kindness in the people. Minnesotans are acculturated to be more dedicated to human values than material ones. A few years ago in California I slipped and fell hitting my nose on the cement payment, causing profuse amounts of blood to gush all over my professional clothes. Fifteen to twenty people watched me fall and not one of my fellow Californians asked me if I was okay or even offered to help me. This would not happen in Minnesota. Because of those snowy, bitter winters, Minnesotans know if they don't bind together one can easily get stranded and freeze to death. There have been countless times I have gotten stuck in the snow while visiting in winter, when suddenly out of nowhere men will appear and magically push me free. Once freed from my snowy imprisonment, they disappear without me even having a chance to thank them. This illustrates the Minnesota I know.
Every time I return home to Minnesota, there is constant pressure on me to see too many people and schedule too many things. Inevitably, I ended up scaling back my over-ambitious schedule causing a number of my family and friends to be horribly disappointed. It is not enough for them to see me once; they want to see me multiple times. It is this connection I miss the most. Being with them, there is nothing to explain; I can just be. After any amount of time there, I feel I need significant alone time because we talk all the time. As an introvert, I am not used to their loquaciousness. But it is not superficial talk, it is an abiding bond which strengthens over time. The only experience I have of this in California is when I meet other Midwesterners or Canadians.
The one thing I learned from this trip is that I will not wait another five years before returning. My support system is aging, making it imperative for me to keep those bonds tight until death us do part.
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