TRUMP + RUSSIA= OUR NEW BFFs

Let's review the cast of Trump's purported Russia-loving characters:

-Jeff Sessions, Attorney General. Met with the Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak twice in September before the election in his Senate office digs. Oops, he kind of forgot to tell Congress about this during his confirmation hearings, when mounting concern over the Democratic Party hacking by Russia was raised. Being a good ole Alabama boy, Mr. Sessions was just offering tea, sympathy, and kielbasa to Sergey, his favorite foreign sausage jockey.

-Rex Tillerson, Secretary of State. As a top executive from Exxon oil, Mr. Tillerson won confirmation even though he had no foreign policy experience and had not personally met Trump until after he was floated as a contender for Secretary of State. Mr. Tillerson has close personal ties to Putin and is a strong supporter of lifting sanctions against Russia. No doubt being a bum driller has its benefits.

-Paul Manafort, ousted Trump Campaign Chairman. Mr. Manafort is well-known to many of the world's dictators as their Washington lobbyist. His alleged questionable frequent contacts with pro-Russia officials (though he claims they were Ukrainian) landed him on every US Intelligence Agency's top ten list of 'bad comrades' to investigate. Sadly, this embarrassing PR 'distraction' became public, causing him to resign as Trump's right-hand man. Too bad the ring raider of Russia blew it.

-Michael Flynn, former National Security Advisor. A retired Lieutenant Army General, Mr. Flynn has the distinction of having the shortest reign as NSA Director in history. His 24 day tenure ended when it was discovered, like Mr. Sessions, Mr. Flynn 'mislead' important people who should have known better about his conversations with Russia before the election. This back door bandit should have been more careful about his loose lips.

-Carter Page, on leave Foreign Policy Advisor. Mr. Page issued denials to Senator Harry Reid that he was a liaison between Russia officials and the Trump administration. The Trump administration pretends they don't know who he is. Sean Spicer, Melissa McCarthy's twin, announced at a press conference on January 11, 2017, "Carter Page is an individual whom the President-elect does not know and was put on notice months ago by the campaign.” Say, what? Could there be more to this pillow biter's pillow talk?

-Michael Cohen, Trump's personal Attorney. A leaked British spy dossier alleges Counselor Cohen made repeated contacts between Trump associates and the Russians during a visit to Prague. Attorney-client privilege may prevent us from fully knowing how friendly Mr. Cohen's fudge-packing political maneuvers went but the fallout from his farts is distinctly odorous.

-Donald Trump, Jr., trophy first son. Thank God Trump has divested his assets or his son's alleged meeting in Paris three weeks before the election, with a pro-Russian group who promotes Kremlin policy, could be construed as suspicious. Let us remember, Junior's light in the loafer's business deals attracts many misunderstood wealthy oligarchs. Prepare for the White House's explanation to be spun as a fairy tale. 

-Jared Kushner, son-in-law/Senior Trump Advisor. Continuing with the all in the family theme, Mr. Kushner also met with Ambassador Sergey Kislyak. Ivanka's passion fruit, along with former NSA Director, Mike 'here today, gone tomorrow' Flynn, supposedly engaged in a political menage a trois at Trump Tower in December with shirt lifter Sergey. Of course, it was all in the spirit of good, legitimate power top politics.

On January 16th, President Trump stated, “I have nothing to do with Russia. To the best of my knowledge, no person that I deal with does". 

Mr. Trump, are you saying this is all an incredible coincidence?