1. Fire Melania for her incredibly poor interior design skills.
2. Look for a new non-litigious Florida home and a much younger wife.
3. Become the Q-Anon President for life.
4. Ditch wearing Depends for big boy pants.
5. Hook up with another treacherous dictator buddy 'cause Putin congratulated Biden on winning.
6. Beg Mark Burnett to install you as 'The Unmasked Biggest Loser'.
7. Sign federal execution orders for Brian Kemp, Mitch McConnell, & Mitt Romney.
8. Make a bigly blockbuster porno with Stormy Daniels.
9. Get a new toupee.
10. Take a basic spelling class for future press covfefe.
