Thursday, June 26, 2014

What Matters Most

 "What matters in life, is not great deeds, but great love." -St. Therese Martin
           This quote comes from one of my favorite saints. (It was also the name of my favorite first and second grade nun from Holy Hell grade school.) I even have a statue of St. Therese, known as the 'little flower" in my living room. What sets her apart from other saints, is that she believed it is the small acts of charity that defines one's life. After Lourdes, her basilica in Lisieux is the second most visited shrine visited in France. Like most saints, she had a tragic life. At 14 years of age, she entered the convent and died at age 24 from TB. In her short life, she emphasized kindness, compassion, and doing small charitable works. Considering the Catholic Church goes for grandiose, tortuous displays of martyrdom in order to get canonized, I am surprised her message took hold. There was something about her message that resonated with me, even as a 6 year old. The Buddhists, of course, would call this accumulated good karma. St. Therese embraced doing little good deeds as a way of alleviating suffering. They are a veritable demonstration of spiritual love. Amazing, isn't it? Here we have a young perpetually ill nun who became a saint by advocating doing little more than being kind. By the way, it was St. Therese who inspired Mother Teresa nun's name and to minister to the poor.
           Why am I calling this to your attention? Because in the reexamination of one's life, I have experienced most people judge themselves in terms of big impact, big deeds, big successes, and the accomplishment of their life mission. They overlook the numerous small acts of kindnesses and good deeds they have done which may have had a profound impact on the lives of others. Throughout my life I have remembered the lessons of St. Therese. Though I have changed the course of many people's lives for the better and even saved lives, this is not what I will be remembered for, or at least I hope not. I hope I will be remembered for being a good person, a kind person, a person who brought some grace, joy, and humor into this world.
        As you reassess your life, I hope you take this into consideration.
        Having attended a number of deaths, I have been struck by how one discards the façade to reveal the spirit within before one leaves the planet. One of the deaths that changed my life was caring for my psychologist friend, John, who died at the age of 43 from a brain tumor. I had been friends with him and his wife for years. Taking care of him when he was in and out of a coma at home his last week on earth was life altering. The day before he went into a coma, he was determined to get his driver's license back (it had been taken away from him because of seizures). It's comical for me to think of this accomplished and respected psychologist who was dying, and one of the last acts he felt was important was to pass his driver's test. Of course, this all changed when he realized he was soon to pass. That week as I cared for him, there was a parade of friends who came to bide their final farewell. They came to honor what he had brought to their lives. If someone were to ask me what was one thing I did that was truly selfless, I would say giving John a death with dignity was the most important. I will always remember those 24 hr a day shifts of hydrating him, bathing him, administering his meds, & changing his soiled sheets.
        This single act of compassion will forever be a reminder of the importance of humility and how even the smallest acts of charity make a difference. 

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